Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Delayed reaction RM rant

Even when I had to deal with RM's BS, I appreciated the educational value of the experiences. As you would imagine, I strive to avoid my mother's lesser character traits--her pettiness, her consistent sweating of the small stuff, her berating people for little things, especially when they're trying to help. And as I've said before, RM challenged my resolve not to channel my mother in some of those ways.

RM helped out with a few house projects: there was that pot rack that so infuriated me just before he moved in, and there was the back door panel that I found to be rotting a few months ago. He volunteered to fix it; I asked him to show me how so I would know how to do it in the future. In any case, I bought the wood and set it out along with the caulk and the wood screws. He fixed it without me, but I didn't hold that against him: he offered to fix it just before the foot incident and ended up actually fixing it right after, when I had no desire to be in the same room with him, much less within speaking distance. I meant to ask him afterward where he put the rest of the wood screws, but never got around to it (I was quite good at avoiding him for the next three weeks, and then he moved out). I worried that I'd have to contact him to ask where the f* he put the wood screws, but decided to wait until I had to. Well, I just found them tonight, in a small box in the utility room cabinet that contains a wall art hanging kit.

Now, why would you do that? Why not just ask me where to put the m-f wood screws, or just leave them out, as he did the caulk, for me to put away? Why stash them where I'd never find them? It's not like it wasn't obvious that that box was not the home of the wood screws. It's not like it was even the path of least resistance: he had to actually select the box.

But this is small stuff; this is the kind of thing I'd probably notice but forgive in an otherwise inoffensive roommate, or a significant other. But once someone's on your $hit list, the little things really grate. And you just have to wonder, why? why? why? Why not JUST ASK?

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