I think I'm done with Skype video calling

Mom: I bought this router, it's been a nightmare. It was supposed to be so good but I've just spent so much time on it.

Mom: Have you gained weight?

Pause

Mom: Have you?
A.: I don't know.
Dad: I wouldn't say she looks especially fat.
Mom: She had gained weight the last time we saw her.

Mom: Your hair doesn't look brushed. I can see your gray hair really clearly. You just don't look like yourself. That's why I don't want to make our webcam work: we'll look worse, too.

Mom: How's work?
A.: Fine.
Mom: Are you getting along with people, or are you going off on everyone?
A.: What??
Mom: You know--criticizing everyone around you.
A.: Absolutely. Everyone. Every day.
Mom: Really?
A.: No!
Mom: Oh, well, okay.

Mom: When are you coming up?
A.: I don't know. I'll probably drive.
Mom: No you won't! I'll go crazy with worry.
A.: You will anyway.
Mom: It'll be winter conditions.
A.: I've driven to Boston in winter conditions before.
Mom: No, no, no. What, you don't want to pay for an airline ticket?

That, and I want the freedom to leave whenever you start to drive me up the wall. It's really hard to shell out $300+ for a ticket to a week of verbal abuse.

A.: That's part of it.
Mom: No!
A.: Mom, it's just easier to drive.
Mom: No it isn't.
A.: We can continue this conversation later.

***
You hear all sorts of career advice, some good, some questionable. One thing that is indisputable--that is repeated without question--in my workplace is that you have to play well with others. You can be the best writer in the world, best speaker in the world, best thinker in the world, but if you can't work well with other people, your career will stall.

The other thing that people say, more informally, about my workplace, is that we're overwhelmingly introverted.

Which just goes to show that you can be introverted and have great people skills.

But here I am taking swipes at my former roommate when I mean to be writing about my mother. And before I go on, I will say that it's been wonderful to live alone, and not only without that roommate, but by myself. Get home, throw my gym clothes directly in the washing machine. There is that whiny little bi&ch disturbing my peace, but I can manage her. But I digress.

Who the f*, in any work environment, goes around criticizing everyone around them? Does my mother really think I could, would do that? Then again, as I mentioned this morning, my mother also thinks my gut has its own gravitational pull.

Oh, the holidays.