Wednesday dinner

Jay IMed to say he'd be late. Actually, I'd IMed him first to let him know that dad was really excited that we were having a real dinner. It's been hot dogs for them (and salad for me) all week. I think it's been blah dinners since mom's knee replacement. Anyway, since Jay would be late, I was at the computer, at the opposite end of the house from the front door, at 7pm when he knocked.

Mom: A.!
A.: Coming!

I started to walk toward the front door.

Mom: A.!!
A.: I said I was coming.

Mom: A.!
A.: Will you calm down? I said I was coming.

Mom: Will someone get the door?
A.: What is wrong with you??

I got the door. And vented to Jay the minute he walked in.

***
I'd set the food out on the table, and mom kept suggesting more stuff to put on the table, as she does. Never mind that dad made fish (I made tofu) for dinner; let's put a different fish out as an appetizer. I said quit taking stuff out of the fridge and sit down. Once we sat down, mom kept ensuring that Jay had everything possible on his plate, and she snapped at me whenever I tried to protect him or remind him that there were still two courses to come.

***
The phone rang. Dad brought the cordless to mom.

Mom: A., Maria's son would like to know whether it's okay for him to call you.
A.: Um, I'd rather he didn't.
Mom: So, should he call you on our home phone or on your cell.
A.: Did you hear me? He shouldn't call me.
Mom: Where should he call you.
A.: Your phone. Especially next week.

Mom put down the phone and started telling Jay about how wonderful this guy is.

A.: Do you even know his name, mom? If he's so important to you, why don't you know his name?
Mom: Why does his name matter?

Mom continued to go on about how great this guy must be and how Maria is psychic, so she must be on to something in terms of trying to hook us up.

A.: Mom. I'm seeing someone.
Mom: So?

Mom continued to tell Jay about how these men who take care of their mothers are wonderful.

Jay: David [his ex] takes great care of his mother.
A.: Rush Limbaugh takes great care of his mother.

Mom continued. I asked her whether she realized how absurd the conversation was. Jay realized it. Jay is really happy for me. He's happy that I'm happy. Mom apparently couldn't care less.

***
Jay (to me): The house looks really clean. Was that your doing?
A.: Not really.
Jay: Huh.
A.: Did you hear that?
Dad: Huh?
A.: Jay says the house is very clean.
Dad: Which? This house?
A.: Yeah.

Dad laughs hysterically. And keeps laughing. It's like the funniest thing he's heard in a year. He laughs, and laughs, and laughs.