Friday dinner

When mom's in a mood, she gets ridiculous (in a whole different way). She lashes out at everybody, about just about everything, but it's so absurd it's humorous.

Here's some context for today's lash-out session: (1) Dad decided that we should go to "The Artist;" and (2) Mom and Dad spent most of the afternoon--yes, dad took off more time to deal with this thing--moving the sofa. I kept asking if I could be of assistance, and they kept saying no. So I made a salad. By the time mom and dad came in, it was dinner time (if we were going to the movie). I noted that we were low on soup. That was mom's first fit.

Mom: Why didn't you make dinner?
A.: What do you mean? Everything's ready. You all have your fish, and I have my tofu. But if we do a soup course, we're low.
Mom: You could have started frying the onion to add more mushrooms!
A.: I had no idea that's what you wanted to do for soup.
Mom: Ha!

I left. She continued to mutter intermittently about how she couldn't believe that I didn't make dinner.

Later, she called dad and I to dinner. I set the table. Dad went to get wine. I served myself some tofu so I could put it back in the fridge, which I did. Mom later took out a bunch of appetizers, including the tofu.

As we were sitting down

Mom (indicating the tofu): Is this yours?
A.: Yeah, but I won't have any more.
Mom: Then why is it on the table??
A.: Does it matter?
Mom: Yes, it does.
A.: Then it's on the table because you took it out with everything else. I put it back in the fridge.
Mom: It's been here all day.
A.: It hasn't.
Mom: Yes it has!
A.: Are we going to fight about this?
Mom: Hmph!

Mom (to dad): Please get the sour cream.
Dad: It's already on the table.
Mom: I can't reach it over there!
Dad: Why are you yelling?
Mom: Why are you telling me it's already on the table?
Dad: Because it is.
Mom: That's irrelevant. You should have passed it to me.
Dad: I would have, had you said, "please pass the sour cream" rather than said to get it out.
Mom: Whatever.
A.: Please pass the salad.

Dad passed the salad. We should be leaving for our movie, right now, but we're not.