Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Pull the string

More talking-mom-doll soundbites:

Oatmeal is fattening!

That's a lot of soup you're eating!

I don't eat much; I'm not even hungry!

Fasting always makes me feel better!

***
Mom: So much oatmeal! I can't eat this much.
A.: Then don't. Who's making you eat "that much" oatmeal?
Mom: I can't believe you eat this much oatmeal.
A.: All I have for breakfast is oatmeal (with flax seeds, soy milk, and half a pear, mind you). You felt the need to bring out some smoked fish, ciabatta, and god knows what else. Of course you're not going to have room for half a bowl of oatmeal.
Mom: I'm soooo full. I can't eat another thing.
A.: Then don't. Mom, if you're full, stop eating oatmeal.
Mom: This is pretty good. Did you add honey?
A.: No.
Mom: You should talk to the bees. Tell them that you love them and that you don't fear them. They understand everything. They won't want to sting you then.

***
Ten minutes later

Mom: You know you've gained weight, right?
A.: No.
Mom: You don't know that?
A.: No, I don't.
Mom: A belly has appeared on you. But that happens to all vegetarians. Meat is not fattening.
A.: [Shrug]

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