This post is not for the easily-offended

Mom: Why isn't the cabbage on the table?
A.: Are we having cabbage?
Mom: Why not?
A.: Okay.
Mom: We also have a lot of very good cheeses. Oh, yeah... you don't eat cheese. Why don't you eat cheese? How does it goats to get milked?
A.: Goats can be factory-farmed, too, and in any case, the baby goats get sent to slaughter.
Dad: They should just do late-term abortions on the baby goats.
Mom: When God said, go forth and multiply...
A.: You believe in God now?
Mom: I believe in an intelligent being... a higher power...
A.: The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Mom: What??
A.: Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Mom: Oh, no--it's not a monster.