I've done it!

I found something to preoccupy my mother.

Her line of choice for relentless repetition is no longer "you've really put on weight!"

It's "I don't know of a single outstanding writer that had to actually study writing."

Occasionally, it's accompanied by, "those poor writers who had to figure it out before they had MFAs in writing! Whatever did they do?"

Do you wonder why I don't talk to my mother about anything personal unless I have to?