Friday night

We got to the cinema just in time. "The Artist" was cute, beautifully done, and entertaining, though not exactly mind-blowing. Which is fine--sometimes you're in the mood for entertaining-but-not-mind-blowing.

I was still in that mood when we got back to the house. I thought it would be a perfect evening to sit back and do crosswords--I brought the stack that piled up over the last couple of months--with some mindless TV in the background. There was nothing especially good on TV, and I didn't want to get sucked into anything remotely engaging (like CSI), and I wasn't about to watch "Kourtney and Kim Take Manhattan." So I settled on "Transformers." I repeat: this was not for intellectual stimulation. In fact, I'd heard that the film was horrendous and the acting represented an elite level of suckage, so I was kind-of curious about how bad it was. And it didn't disappoint.

Mom came and sat down in the living room.

Mom: Are you watching this?
A.: I am. Would you like to change the channel?
Mom: No.

[Pause]

Mom: Are you really watching this?
A.: I just told you that I was, but I'm not really, so feel free to change it.
Mom: No, it's fine.

Mom: Are you actually enjoying this?
A.: Look, mom--we're either watching this or not watching it. We're not watching it and critiquing at the same time. I know it's a bad movie. There's nothing else on. If you want to channel-hop, feel absolutely free.

Mom: What's going on?
A.: I don't really know. I haven't seen this before.
Mom: Why did he do that? Who's that?
A.: I don't know, mom. Let's change the channel.
Mom: Oh, no, this is fine. The sacrifices one makes for one's children! You're only here for a short time.
A.: It's not a worthwhile sacrifice. I don't care about this movie. It's just here. Change the channel if you want. But if you don't want, stop muttering about what a bad movie it is.

Mom: This movie is awful. Every time I look up, the same thing is happening.
A.: Yup.
Mom: Then why are you watching it?
A.: I'm not. I'm doing crosswords.
Mom: Why did you put it on?
A.: It's not like I went out and bought the DVD. It's on TV and nothing else really is.
Mom: Okay, fine.