I want to throttle my roommate

See the previous post if you haven't already.

I just got in from a long, beautiful bike ride. I want to take a minute out of slamming my roommate to once again proselytize over the Mt. Vernon trail. It's is breathtakingly beautiful. So much so that as I was riding, I thought, the clarity of the water and the clean reflection of the trees reminds me of the Canadian Rockies.

I did wake up early this morning--around 6am--and left for the trail shortly thereafter. The morning is the best time to go, because there are fewer people, the temperature is perfect, and the water is usually more still. I thought of what RM said yesterday, and it continued to infuriate me. If I am up at 6am on a Saturday, I most certainly do not want to chat. And honestly, I almost never want to chat. Why can't he understand that?

And I thought, what a selfish prick. It's like, no matter how clear I make my preferences, he continues to impose the nature of relationship that he wants.

And I thought, my mother would say I should be grateful that he offered to take me out to dinner--just like theoretically I should be grateful for the (now-returned) earrings--but I'm not. I didn't want to go out to dinner. You can't make me want to spend time with you, and you can't make me appreciate things that I didn't want in the first place. Martha and I were talking about this, because the behavior fits a pattern-- it seems like it's helpful and altruistic, but none of it is about you; it's about him.

I mean, it was a great bike ride--in fact, I felt so insufficiently kicked in the butt that I opted to take the Wilson Bridge trail after I returned from Mt. Vernon, and then I rode to Whole Foods. Oh, and does Remy Moustafa have an Alexandria counterpart, because I'd love an Alexandria rap. Why the f* can't I get bike parking at Whole Foods on a Sunday morning? But I digress.

I really enjoyed my bike ride, and I'm still not actually in a bad mood, but I still wanted to throttle RM. He was sitting at the dining room table when I walked in; he asked me how the ride was, I said great. Then he said, "I just woke up! I feel great! I must have slept for 11 hours!" And I just thought, "f* you. That's what I would have wanted to do yesterday, but you decided to come in and make noise because you assumed I'd be awake and up for a chat."

And the funny thing is, I wasn't *angry* about his having come in and woken me up when I thought he'd forgotten something. That would have been fine-- we all forget things sometimes, we all have to wake people up for legitimate reasons on occasion. But the fact that he figured that I was up and feeling sociable, and so didn't bother to be quiet until it was too late, was annoying enough, and this morning's self-congratulations on how well rested he feels is just the turd icing on the shit cake of my accumulated exhaustion. I cannot tell you when I last slept in (sleeping in until 6am on a weeknight doesn't count).

I know, wah. It's not like I'm working multiple jobs and/or single-handedly raising kids or otherwise partaking in thankless, exhausting activities; I'm exhausted because I've been spending a lot of time with friends. I am, nonetheless, exhausted, and I know that roommate's being well-rested in no way contributes to that exhaustion, so I shouldn't begrudge him his well-restedness. Nonetheless, I just want him to shut up.

That feels better. Now I can go on enjoying my morning and reflecting upon the breathtaking bike ride.