A post you can all identify with

Celebrating the holidays with family means different things to different people, but there are some common threads for everyone. While you--at least the non-Jews among you--didn't mark the holidays with being told, at every possible opportunity, that you've put on weight, chances are you did mark the holidays by helping your parents out of whatever computer messes they'd gotten themselves into.

From the moment I arrived, mom started going on about all the things we'd need to do with the computer(s).

A.: What do you want to start with?
Mom: Everything!
A.: Okay, but we have to start somewhere. Pick something.
Mom: Let's install Windows 7.
A.: Okay. Where's the CD?

Mom spent hours looking for the CD and still hasn't found it.

A.: Do you know if mom's found the Windows 7 CD?
Dad: I have no idea. She tends to use CDs as coasters--she puts them under plants-- so there are CDs all over the house. It's hard to tell which ones are actually useful.
A.: [Sigh]

Mom: Okay, let's call Bill Me Later.
A.: You don't need to call them. Just go online...
Mom: I want to call!
A.: Then you call.
Mom: You call!
A.: I will go online. If you want to call, you can call.
Mom: Those jerks! They didn't tell me there was an annual fee.
A.: There is no annual fee.
Mom: Then what's that?
A.: APR. You only have to pay it if you carry a balance.
Mom: I'm not sure about that.
A.: I am.
Mom: I don't want it!
A.: Then why did you sign up for it?
Mom: They told me it was more secure and efficient.
A.: Well, then.
Mom: They didn't tell me there was a fee.
A.: There is no fee.
Mom: Well, I still don't want it.
A.: Fine.

A.: You've already use it--you have a balance. You'll need to pay it off before I can cancel the service.
Mom: Then pay it.
A.: Can I have your checkbook?
Mom: No, I'll do it online.
A.: Right, but I need your routing and account numbers.
Mom: No, I want to do it through my bank. I don't want to give them my account number.
A.: Then do it through your bank.
Mom: Where's the statement?
A.: Online.
Mom: Grrrrr.
A.: What?
Mom: That's it. Let's call them.
A.: You call them. We can figure this out online.
Mom: I want to call them!
A.: Then call them.