So close to making me feel guilty about mom-blogging

I'm in the shower, which is not silent, when I hear my mother try the bathroom door, and then rattle it, once she finds that it's locked. "Good lord!" she exclaims, at the absurdity of my having locked the door. I'm still not sure what she wanted.

***
It turns out mom was banging down the bathroom door because my phone was ringing, and mom knew that I was eagerly anticipating baby news. That's a good reason to bang down the bathroom door.

I came downstairs and left a couple of messages on different phones. Then, I came into the kitchen, and mom told me something else that made me even more hesitant to write unflatteringly of her: she'd gone to get oatmeal (I'd asked her to find it before I hopped in the shower), but the crowds were out of control, so she went to the convenience store across the street and bought some overpriced instant oatmeal. This is really sweet--mom is really cheap. She's been known to yell at me for spending $3 on ingredients. So it's heartwarming that she went out to get me oatmeal, and spent over $5 on it.

Then, my phone rang again, in another room. When I answered and talked to my friend, mom tried her hardest to refrain from getting my attention. At one point, she couldn't take it any more and brought a pair of snow boots to my attention. I understand that it was a practical measure, but it could have waited. Still, I appreciated that she wasn't interrupting for other reasons.

I got off the phone and took to making our instant oatmeal. I was chopping up an apple to go with it when mom turned the tide.

Mom: You've gotten so solid! You used to be so delicate, and now you're so hefty.
Dad: That's not a bad thing.

Remember that line from "Sleepless in Seattle" where Rob Reiner talks about setting Tom Hanks up with a friend of a friend who's a weightlifter? "It's not like her neck is bigger than her head or anything." Well--I'm not a professional weightlifter, and my neck is certainly not bigger than my head. In my previous post, I explained that I was not especially flabby. Please note next to that that I'm not especially Hulk-like, either.

***
A.: Could we please turn the sound off!
Mom: I need to hear the weather, especially if we're driving you to the hospital!
A.: I'll check it online.
Dad: Why don't you sit down?
A.: Because there's a television screaming where my head would be if I did.
Dad: Where's the remote?
Mom: I just had it.
A.: It's way too loud in here, even if I'm not sitting right there.

Five minutes later, we find the remote and turn down the sound.

I look at the ingredients on the "original" instant oatmeal and marvel at the fact that it still has crap in it, but I don't say anything because I appreciate that mom got it for me. But dad sees me looking, and makes some comment about how the government makes food manufacturers put extra ingredients in things. I counter that the government doesn't make food manufacturers add anything, and manage not to add that he's been watching too much Glenn Beck.

***
As we speak

Mom: What, you don't like pickled cabbage?
A.: Not really, no.
Mom: Goodness gracious! Such deviance!