Christmas dinner

Mom: What, no sour cream???
A.: I've never liked sour cream. We have the sour cream discussion every time I visit, and this is my first non-dairy visit. So don't try to spin the sour cream issue as further evidence that I've lost my mind by virtue of giving up dairy.

[Pause]

Mom: It all started when I drove you to that thing when you were a teenager. I was so happy! I thought, I'm an environmentalist--I reuse paper towels--my daughter's a budding environmentalist, even at the age of thirteen! I thought, "how wonderful!" And I was so proud of you--I thought you were such a follower--I thought you only ever did what your friends did, never showing any initiative. But you still wanted to go to that environmental conference, even though your friends cancelled. I was so happy. Little did I know that that was 'Pandora's Box." That's where all this craziness started, and now you're going to such extremes. No dairy! [Shudders].

[Pause]

Mom: Your skin does look really good.
A.: Well, then.
Mom: I've always had good skin, and I always ate everything.
Dad: You smoked and drank, too. More importantly, you grew up and lived, for quite a while, amid deprivation, so you didn't have a lot of choices about what to eat, and you didn't have opportunity for excess.
Mom: That's the point: I smoke and drank and ate everything.
Dad: That's not the point. It was a different context. There was no way you were going to eat too much of anything because there wasn't enough, much less too much, of anything to eat. You're romanticizing a time of scarcity.

[Pause]

Mom: I will admit, your salad is good.
A.: Thank you.