Christmas morning (part I, I'm sure)

Last night.

I'm brushing my teeth, with an electric toothbrush (that makes noise). My mother opens the bathroom door and tells me a story about how wonderful her plumbers are. Which is great, but might it wait until I'm done brushing my teeth?

Also last night

Mom: You're skin has gotten better.
A.: Since I stopped eating dairy.
Mom: [Shrug]
Dad: My skin is starting to look old.
Mom: Amazingly, it really hasn't until recently.

It's true. My parents both have great skin.

Mom: Do you know what's great for skin? Urine.

Mom proceeds to tell an interesting story--but you'll forgive me if I recall few of the details--about how when she was a kid and went to some sort of school in the countryside, her mother and a friend visited, and were given a piglet as a gift. The piglet developed some sort of infection or wound, and was successfully treated with applied urine.

Mom: It has everything that's good, that's filtered. I'm going to apply it to this [infection/bug bite that she's had for months] if it doesn't go away.
A.: Didn't you get drugs for that?
Mom: Yeah, but I forgot to renew the prescription, and apparently, if you do that, it's no longer effective after you skip it for a while.
A.: [Sigh]
Mom: But I'm telling you-urine! So many people swear by it.
A.: I know Natasha is a big fan.
Mom: Yes, and other people too. It really works.
A.: [Shrug]

***
This morning

I close the bathroom door. Before I have a chance to lock it, mom opens it.

A.: Mom!
Mom: Just a minute--I want to check to see that the space heater is on.
A.: Check it later! I have to pee.
Mom: Just one second!
A.: Mom! Now!
Mom: I just... see, the temperature...
A.: Close the door!
Mom: [Sigh]. Fine!