Saturday, September 4, 2010

Shrug

Mom's friend: So, what are you working on now?
A.: [Explain what I'm working on]
Mom's other friend: She's all grown up.
A., not out loud: [Ya think?]
Mom: Yes, she's always done her own thing and come out okay... except...
A., to Jay: I know what's coming: she can't talk about my career without talking about how my degree in psychology was a complete waste and big mistake.
Mom: What?
A.: Psychology.
Mom: Yes! Exactly! And do you know how much that degree cost??
Dad: [Says a few things in defense of the field of psychology]
Mom's friend: Do you think it's helpful to what you're doing now?
A.: Absolutely.
Mom's other friend: Really?
A.: Absolutely.

***
Earlier, when mom has me try on various thing she bought at an estate sale

A.: Eh.
Mom: You need to go on a fast.
Jay: You need to get this taken in here. [Pause] Could I be more your gay husband?

***
One of mom's friends is really, really annoying.

Mom's annoying friend, indicating a New Yorker cartoon: When you have a minute, would you explain this drawing to me?
A.: It's a NYer cartoon; you're kind of supposed to not get it.

later

Mom's annoying friend's wife: I still remember, many years ago, you were packing for college, and your mom tried to convince you that one box of something would be enough...
A.: Now it's so the other way around. She's constantly trying to stick me with crap.
Mom: You make me want to vomit.
A.: [Shrug]
Mom's annoying friend: What's changed?
A.: I've learned that less is more. I don't want to fill my house with crap.
Mom's annoying friend: You should have bought a bigger house.
A.: [Shrug]

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