early afternoon madness

We're having coffee. Mom asks whether we should go for a walk, asks whether it's going to rain. She turns on the weather channel, and then continues to try to talk about something else.

A.: Mom, I can't hear you over the TV.

Mom takes a few minutes, trying two different remotes, to turn it down. It's still kind of screaming. The commercial ends, weather comes on, but I still have no idea what the weather is going to be. I get up and check accuweather, and see that Jay has IM'd me about plans for tomorrow. I tell mom that the rain is supposed to start at 5pm, and write back to Jay. The phone rings.

A.: Mom, it's [your timeshare]. Do you want me to get it?
Mom: A., would you get the phone?

Meanwhile, the TV is screaming. I get the phone. I ask mom to mute the TV. It's still screaming.

A.: Hello? Hello?

Mom finally manages to mute the TV.

Mom: That phone doesn't work.
A.: How was I supposed to know? [and why is it still there??]
Mom: Check the caller ID.
A.: It's [your timeshare].
Mom: A.! I needed to talk to them!
A.: Well, I didn't know the phone didn't work!
Mom: I guess I'll call them back. Here, hold the coffee.
A.: Um? Could we put it down?
Mom: It's hot.
A.: ??
Mom: Just hold it.

Mom: Okay, it's fine.

***
Meanwhile

Jason: You there?
me: hey
Jason: What are you thinking? Hike? Ice cream?
me: sounds good
blue hills?
Jason: Sure. Prolly in the afternoon so the storm passes?

me: sorry. coffee making crisis
blue hills or did u have something more exotic in mind?
Jason: Well I had thought Monadnock but I think it'll be too wet and too much bother. Blue Hills is good--we can choose our duration there.
me: Monadnock's cool too. whatev.
see, you're a bad influence on me
Jason: Why??
me: "whatev"
Jason: Oh, please. Whatev.
me: anyway, if Monadnock is the hotness...
Jason: I think it'll be the muddy wetness
Jason: Moisture is the essence of wetness
me: LOL
altho lately it's been all about TBL
i.e., to Gracie, "That rug really holds the room together!"
or, "...if you're not into the whole brevity thing." (that one came up at work)
I don't love the Coen brothers
excellent writing but something about the characters just doesn't quite hold it together
altho--have u seen Burn After Reading?
it's always fun to watch something that takes place in DC
but I was ROTFLMAO when BP's character called JM's character in the middle of the night and said, "we have your $hit. we have your secret $hit."
and so on
Jason: Ah. Lol
I really did just chortle out loud
me: btw, my mom's confusion about how you could possibly be single--because you're such a nice guy, with the newly added 'don't you have clubs and stuff'--had me chuckling for days.
Jason: That is funny. I was telling my one gay, jewish quasi-friend about how your mom's more interested in my love life than I am.
me: lol
Jason: He was like, you know how Russian Jews are...
me: well, you do.
I could use a yenta about now.
Jason: Oy vey.