Mom Madness: brackets

Mom and Dad are driving up on Friday. Vote for what you expect to hear most:

1. The weight bracket
a. You've really put on weight! vs. You're stomach is enormous! I can't concentrate.
b. You have a double chin! vs. Hee hee-- you're fat.
c. You need to eat less-- put down the soup. vs. I was tiny at your age.
d. The way you walk is really not sexy. vs. Your clothes don't fit; try these.

2. The house bracket
a. Your house is so small! vs. How can you live without a basement?
b. Why do you need a dryer? vs. Why don't you have a TV.
c. It's obvious you have no sense of taste. vs. You paid too much for that table.
d. Why do you have to live in this neighborhood vs. I couldn't live here, nowhere
to go for a walk.

3. The work/friends bracket
a. Would your people get on the synchronization of traffic lights? vs. Have you alienated everyone at work yet?
b. You talk too much; that's why you don't have friends. vs. That doesn't mean they're you're friends; it just means they're being polite.
c. You're too sensitive; I'm just trying to help. vs. You're very harsh.

4. The relentless attempts at brainwashing bracket
a. You know the theory of evolution is wrong. vs. you must read about this psychic!
b. Let's watch Bill O'Reilly! vs. Let's watch Glenn Beck!