RM update (drama level: you decide)

I still don't know whether RM is staying or going. He never did tell me last night, and when he knocked on my door this morning just before 6:00, I thought it was so that he could deliver his decision, but instead, it was to make sure I hadn't overslept. Which is a reversion to providing favors I don't need.

I'm sorry to bore you with the logistical details of my daily life, but I must now reiterate them for context: I normally get up at 5am. Very occasionally, if I am very, very tired, I'll turn off my alarm, in which case I don't usually sleep past 6am anyway. I've done this before, and RM has never felt the need to knock on my door. He would have had even less reason to do so this morning, as he knew that I would be going to my Team picnic (I was making a dessert for said picnic when he came in yesterday; he asked about dessert, I told him about the picnic). He doesn't know that the house is halfway between my office and the location of the picnic--so it makes little sense to go into the office in the morning, particularly since I can work from home as needed--but that's hardly important. I believe he knows I have a flexible schedule (i.e. can show up to work whenever the f* I want)--this was revealed back in the day when he was still grilling me about such things--so there's just no reason whatsoever to make sure I hadn't overslept. Especially before 6am.

I was already awake, so it wasn't infuriating; just unnecessary. And by virtue of being unnecessary, it makes me wonder what he was trying to accomplish. If it was genuine concern, it was seriously misguided, for the reasons stated above. If he was trying to prove his concern and considerateness, it was misguided, too, for the same reasons: symbolic gestures that have no basis in actual need are just annoying. This we have established. [See Daniel Syndrome, or whatever I called it, from a couple of months ago]. But I am curious: is he bullshitting himself as well--does he genuinely think he's looking out for me--or is he just trying to bullshit me, under some sort of delusion that I'll find his (unfounded) concern endearing?

If he's going all annoying and oversolicitous on me again, I want him out. I was neutral when I thought we'd settled into a pleasant routine of his not trying too hard. If he's going to try too hard, I can't stay neutral.

***
Are you sick, yet, of my drawing wisdom from advice columns? I thought this one was a propos, even though the question is about love. I believe Carolyn's response is a great barometer for any kind of healthy relationship--friends, roommates, etc:

"...the things s/he does for you, and says to you, reflect careful attention to who you are."

***
Ever since RM moved in and launched his charm offensive, almost every element and tactic of that offensive has been generic (and has fallen flat or offended). I reiterate that I expect nothing, and prefer nothing, apart from the basic requirements of cohabitation (cleanliness, quiet when the other person is sleeping, etc.)... but if you're going to take it up a notch and want to be effective, you need to actually think about who the other person is. Otherwise, just stop.

***
I want an honest answer: do you guys think I'm being a jerk? Is it really the thought that counts, even when it's a tortured thought? Am I the one in the wrong by cynically interpreting this "concerned gesture" or at least dismissing it--as well as many that came before it--as misguided and unnecessary? At what point, as a social being, do I have an obligation to feel or feign gratitude for favors that I neither requested nor needed, and that can be detrimental?