Projecting

Over a celebratory lunch with a team I'd worked with a while back, the director told us about a friend of hers whose mother very blatantly projected her emotions and even sensations onto her daughter (the friend's sister). She would say things like, "I'm cold; put on a sweater," and "I have a headache; you should take some advil."

My mom doesn't go quite this far, but she does often express shock that I don't experience the exact same sensation. If I say I'm cold, she'll say, "but it's warm in here!" and when I express interest in food, she loves to proclaim how not hungry she is.

There was also the time--in Russia, on Lake Ladoga--that she convinced me not to take a book because I should just look at the water and scenery (we weren't late, but she wouldn't give me thirty seconds to get my book). But it would be a long boat ride, and the ferry broke down in a fairly standard-looking part of the lake, giving me way too much time to stare at the scenery. Mom, of course, had her book.

Then, of course, there's was the accusation that I was leaving my job because I was so overbearing that couldn't get along with people, and had alienated everyone. I actually told my former team, with whom I'd worked quite closely for the better part of a year, about this, upon hearing the story of the more direct projecting. They thought that was really funny. It's certainly not come up in any of my reviews... and believe me, it would have had it been an issue.

What's your favorite tale of parental projection?