Old, fat and codependent

Jason just taught me what bluetooth was except I don't get it. I feel old.

***
We were getting ready to go to dinner earlier today. Practically in unison:

A.: I'm going to change; this shirt makes me look fat.
J.: I'm going to change into a different shirt. This one makes me look fat.

***
Jay has thought up a new career for himself: photographing the myriad doggie bakeries in Alexandria. We were talking about this yesterday in one of our Fourth of July gatherings. We saw two today just in Del Ray. And the Dairy Godmother also has doggie treats.

***
So now we're bluetoothing the photos of Harper's Ferry that we took with our phones--because we both forgot our cameras-- and going through them. We each took one of one another in front of the overlook. Before we bluetoothed, we were doing the crossword downstairs. I picked up Gracie; Jay took a picture. The ones at the overlook came up first.

J.: Do I look fat?
A.: No. Do I look fat?

I so need straight guys in my life. But I digress.

The one of me and Gracie came up.

A.: OMG I look so fat.
J.: Well, not compared to her.

***
We had a big dinner. And then we got dessert. I couldn't finish mine, but I still felt disgusting.

A.: I feel gross. Can I vomit when we get home?
J.: Are you going bulimic?
A.: I can read minds, don'tcha know.

A.: OMG, I can't believe you don't remember the "Age before beauty, goat cheese!" line.
J.: What? When was it?
A.: Right before the walk-off. You remember the walk-off, right??
J.: Ya!
A.: The walk-off was awesome.
J.: I don't get it. Why did he say 'goat cheese'?
A.: OMG, are you turning into my mother??
J.: What?
A.: I think you need to re-watch the movie to get the context of the 'goat cheese.'

***
Earlier, on the way to Harper's Ferry.

J.: Moisture...is the essence...of wetness.