Phone call

Mom: Did you hear about the shooting near the Capitol?
A.: No...
Mom: Turn on the TV.
A.: I don't have a TV.
Mom: Well, there was a shooting near the Capitol. This man open-fired. I don't think he hit anyone.
A.: I'll check the internet after we get off the phone.
Mom: So, you're already home?
A.: Yeah. I didn't go into the office. We had our picnic.
Mom: Why?
A.: Why the picnic?
Mom: Yeah-- why would you have a picnic?
A.: Why did your companies always have picnics?
Mom: I see your point.
Dad: We had an ice cream social at work today, but I didn't go to it, since I'd OD'd on ice cream the other day at a fundraiser they were having at work.
Mom: It's just ice cream. Big deal.

***
A.: So, a colleague of mine studied in St. Petersburg a while back...
Mom: When?
A.: I'm not sure.
Mom: About when?
A.: I really don't know-- within ten years?
Mom: Where?
A.: I don't know. Does it matter?
Mom: Maybe it was the LIT [where she got her grad degree]..
A.: I doubt it. Anyway, he was telling me this story about how when he first got there, he went up to one of those kiosk-like food stands...
Mom: Where?
A.: I DON'T KNOW. Anyway, he bought what looked like a pastry, but it turned out it was a cake of lard.
Dad: [laughs]
Mom: Is he Jewish?
A.: I don't think so.
Mom: Then what's the big deal?
A.: Um, he was going for a pastry, and ended up with lard.
Mom: So?
A.: [Sigh] Nothing.