Saturday morning ramble

I'm going to draw us back into the introvert debate to reassert that introversion isn't synonymous with social ineptitude or awkwardness, and extroversion doesn't guarantee social aptitude. We don't need to bring my least favorite roommate into the argument: the argument itself tells us that extroverts are somewhat oblivious to external signals; they just plow on, paying no mind to what other people might be thinking. How is that social aptitude?

I bring this up because yesterday I considered gouging my eyes out. I was in the lobby of our building, waiting for some people so we could all wait for other people to show them to a spot in the building. So this guy and I were the only ones who were on time, and from the first second, he talked, and talked, and talked. Never mind that I was offering little encouragement (I'm very practiced at sending 'stop talking' signals, but they're lost on most extroverts). I was avoiding eye contact and offering very curt responses. But he kept talking.

And the lack of social skill evidenced itself not only in the quantity of the words coming out of this dude's mouth, but in the appropriateness. Here's the first rule of small talk: if you insist on spewing it, keep it light. You don't talk about budget cuts--much less in the lobby of your building--and you certainly don't talk lightly about how if you were some other people, you would be worried. I mean, in recent days, we've all been quietly expressing dismay at the potential budget cuts, as well as compassion in terms of job insecurity. What you don't do is go on and on and on about it flippantly.

Finally, the others got there. And this guy just. kept. talking. The others were pretty annoyed to. Thankfully, he was the first one to go show someone to the room in question, at which point we all took a deep breath. My friend was more frustrated by the volume, but I commented on the tackiness, and to my surprise, she sort-of defended him: he's young. Most of the people we work with are not young. There is one, smallish department that recruits people right out of college (recruited, I should say; not a lot of recruitment going on right now), and the rest of us have little contact with them. My friend made a very good point: how clueless were we, just out of college.

Which is a good point; I'll give her that (even though I know much less annoying people right out of college).

Back to the point, though: extroversion, in and of itself, doesn't translate to social aptitude.