Saturday dinner

I was making soup and dad was setting the table. He offered me a piece of the banana he'd opened, and I took it. Mom came in from her nap and saw the remaining half-banana on the table.

Mom: What's your issue with bananas?
A.: What is my issue with bananas?
Mom: I don't know. I'm asking.

Mom took some sides out of the fridge, including grated beet with mayo.

Mom: Are you gonna have beets?
A.: No.
Mom: Why not? What's wrong with beets?
A.: Nothing.
Mom: Then what?
A.: I don't eat mayo.

(Pause)

Mom: There's an old story about a man who used to be a drunk. When he was drunk, he was always falling over backward. So he decided to get sober, which he did by finding religion. So then he would pray, falling over forward. All this to say, you shouldn't fall to far in any direction. I'm telling you this because it applies to you.
A.: How?
Mom: Like I said: you shouldn't fall forward or backward by bending too far in any direction.
A.: This has what to do with me?
Mom: You can't have a beet salad just because there's a little bit of mayo. You're falling over forward.
A.: Okay, first of all, I've never really liked mayo...
Mom: A bit of mayo, and you can't have it. You can't have the beets or the walnuts, just because of the mayo.
A.: The issue isn't can't.
Mom: That's just it! If you didn't read and you didn't know, you'd be eating the beet salad.
A.: I'd be living a very different life in a lot of ways if I "didn't read and didn't know."
Dad: That's a good point.