Speaking of waking up in a cold sweat...

Back when I worked far away, friends who lived closer to where I worked graciously allowed me to crash at their home on occasion (i.e., those occasions where I worked long enough that, if I commuted to my house, I'd get home just in time to crash, only to leave for work at the crack of dawn). And occasionally on those occasions, I would wake up in the middle of the night. To a full-sized cardboard cut-out of Derek Zoolander staring at me.

Zoolander has become quite the leitmotif for me. You know how often I quote the film on these pages; I quote it more elsewhere. At this point, my primary motivation for buying a TV is so that I'll be able to host Zoolander drinking game parties (in case you're already afraid, rest assured that, motivating as that is, it's not at the top of my list of priorities).

At a party yesterday, I was just telling people--who had called me on my Zoolander obsession (when I noted that high-minded ideas often led me to lower-brow cultural references, and, in actuality, I was about to bring up Dave Chappelle's kneehigh park episodes)-- that when Jay was here, and we were walking back to the house from dinner out, he stopped me mid-step to say--wait for it..."Wetness... is the essence... of moisture."

Well, lo and behold, what did Jay e-mail me about just today? Scarier than Zoolander quotes trying to take over my life, is my brain trust with Jay:

Ok, so I broke down and bought a used copy of Zoolander today. I'll go
watch for the goat cheese reference... I also accidentally put face
cleanser in my hair in the shower this morning and all I could think
was "wetness is the essence of moisture" or whatever...

You won't believe this (except you will), but I'd been conditioning with lotion for several months. Not all the time, but whenever I washed my hair at the gym, so maybe every other week. You know how those little hotel shampoo bottles all look the same? I'd grabbed the lotion instead of the conditioner, and only noticed a week or so ago. Maybe that explains the Hagrid hair? Except that's not limited to when I actually wash my hair at the gym.

What enables me is that so many of my friends have a similar affinity for Zoolander references. I remember over a year ago, Annie and I were at happy hour at Flying Fish, and "Wake Me Up (Before You Go-Go)" came on, and we both thought, "Zoolander"!

I think I'm okay, but I trust that you'll launch an intervention if things intensify.