Presumption

Mom, indicating a piece of furniture: Did you want that?
A.: I love it... but I wouldn't have anywhere to put it.
Mom: Well, and you probably don't have any dinnerware worth displaying.
A.: Well, I do, but I already have furniture for it.

Now, mom's statement was matter-of-fact, not value-laden. I only find it blogworthy in context: over the last ten years, mom has regularly said, "you'll never need to buy anything-- we have everything you'll ever need. If/when you buy a house, we'll have furniture for you, plates, etc." And she had given me a lot of stuff, even before I bought the house, and some of it I really like. But I also have bought stuff, that I've chosen, and that works for me, and I've found her perspective that I should just decorate my house with stuff she opts to give me a bit annoying if not surprising. You'll recall a year and a half ago she was shocked when I didn't want a bunch of socks she'd bought for me. Her reaction was one of incredulity: "you have socks?? you mean, you went out and bought socks?" Why would I do that, when I must know that she has plenty of socks around the house.

Anyway, since she's actively discouraged me over the years from acquiring anything on my own, we shouldn't be surprised that she doesn't expect me to have any dinnerware 'worth displaying.' So I'm not surprised, but I'm... bemused? Because I love my dining room-- it's the most finished room in the house, and it's my oasis. After years of having a dining room that was no more than a thoroughfare-- it was just positioned that way-- I love eating at a dining room table and seeing beautiful things around.

What's my point? I guess it's that in spite of so much evidence to the contrary, I expect my mom to know me well, so when she comes out with things like that, it's like, 'wow, you don't know who I am.' It's always a bit jarring when people really think you're someone else-- especially people close to you-- but it happens all the time. With mom, the dinnerware thing is a lighter incarnation of the phenomenon; alleging, for example, that I left a job because I'd alienated all my coworkers was a more intense, and bewildering one.