Monday, September 3, 2012

You will never find a partner!

I was on the last page/last paragraph of "The Free World" when mom decided to talk to me about a coupon for dishwasher detergent pellets. I asked her politely to give me a minute (literally). It wasn't that I couldn't be bothered to take time away from the book; earlier, I had put the book down to help dad open some documents in Acrobat Reader. Actually, I hadn't wanted to finish the book (I'd have nothing to read at the airport other than my phone; the in-flight crossword better be good). It's that I was in the universe of the book, and it was a very intense, emotional last page. For another five lines or so, I wanted to really feel the story as I said goodbye to the characters for good. So there I was, immersed in this family's transition and tragedy. I asked mom to just give me a minute.

Mom, indicating a coupon: Do you use this?
A.: Just a minute--I'm almost done with the book.
Mom: Did you already get these?
A.: No.
Mom: Do you not have a dishwasher?
A.: Just a minute, please. I'm in the middle of a very intense part of the book, and I'm almost finished.
Mom: How do you wash your dishes?
A.: [Sigh.] Liquid detergent.

Back to the intense paragraph.

Mom: Liquid? Why liquid?
A.: Mom! Did I not ask you to give me a minute?
Mom: You know what? SCREW YOU!
A.: A MINUTE! I ASKED FOR A MINUTE!

I went to the kitchen and finished the book, but the "moment" was already gone. I was already out of the world of the book. I reread it a few times so I could get back in. It worked, but all I'd needed was for mom to give me thirty seconds, and I could have just read it once. But no.

From the living room, I heard her yell,

Mom: IT'S BETTER IF YOU DON'T VISIT AT ALL.
A.: I AGREE!

Then,

Mom: YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU WILL NEVER FIND A PARTNER!
A.: If you can do it, anyone can.
Mom: That doesn't even make sense. What does that have to do with anything?

***
Oh, earlier, at dinner, she'd told me once more that she didn't like my hairstyle.

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