Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Tuesday morning

Mom: I'm just coming to the terms with the fact that we created a cold, selfish monster who only ever thinks of herself. I understand that now. How we sacrificed so much for you, so that you could do whatever you wanted. I can only imagine how you destroyed that poor boy. I can only imagine.

A.: Imagine away.

Mom: There: your reaction proves that I'm right. You're cold, you're selfish. I remember I once asked you for frequent flier miles, and you said, "no, I need them for myself."

A.: The context was that you wanted to use them for a domestic flight, which I thought would be a waste. If you'll recall, I was willing to just pay for your ticket.

Mom: You've filled filled your life with artificial codes of conduct, prescribed ways of living. You follow these rules you've made for yourself. Life doesn't work that way. Only the heart ever leads you everywhere. 

A.: What rules are those?

Mom: What to eat, what not to eat, what to spend time on, what not to spend time on. The older you get, the more extreme you get and the more you limit your life. What have you turned yourself into? 

A.: What do I spend time on?

Mom: The cooking!  The time you spend on cooking. How many hours did it take to make that food?

A.: The only reason that that food took hours was that dad discovered mice in the gas grill and had to build a wood fire for the vegetables.

Mom: My point is, you're ruining your life and alienating your loved ones. Compare yourself to Nina: she doesn't live by the rules. She's spontaneous. She makes decisions and lives according to her passions. You, on the other hand, live by your own self-imposed laws. I can only imagine how you destroyed that poor boy.

A.: Like I said, imagine away.

Mom: And it only gets worse. More and more self-imposed rules. You're so cold. I can understand why people don't want to be around you. I understand what you must have done to that poor boy. You're incapable of human emotion. It pains me to say this, but I have to say it.

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