Good news, bad news, and mitigating factors

The good news (for you, my loyal readership) is that I'm going up to Boston for the long weekend, and I've never weighed more. At my recent doctor's appointment, I weighed in at seven pounds heavier than I was a few months ago.

The bad news is, apparently, I "look great." Lots of people have been saying this to me recently--too many for it to be a fluke. I must have looked quite the hippopotamus before.

Mitigating factor: Those people don't make a point of appraising my posterior when it is protruding, for example, in service of a yoga pose. Mom, on the other hand, is likely to do just that. And when she does, she is likely to announce (and harp on the observation) that my butt is huge.

The upshot: I doubt you'll be bored if you tune in next weekend.

***
Phone call

A.: You know when I'm getting in? Thursday.
Mom: I don't know. Is it Thursday? Yeah, maybe.
Dad: It is Thursday, in the evening. We have your itinerary printed out somewhere.
Mom: We just got back from a lovely walk along the trail. I love having the river nearby. I don't know how you can live somewhere without a river nearby.
A., not aloud: [Um...]
Mom: What did you do today?
A.: I've been spending a lot of time on yardwork. I planted some shrubs, fed lots of mosquitoes.
Dad: They've killed off the ones here because of West Nile.
A.: It's bad here.
Dad: That surprises me--I mean, you don't get a lot of rain.
A., politely but aloud: What planet do you live on, dad?

I mean, seriously, where does he get this stuff? How many flood warnings has the area gotten in the last couple of months? Does he not hear me say, every time mom asks me whether I have a basement, "no, and good thing, because it would get flooded every time it rains"?

Dad: [Laughs]
Mom: Any food requests? Russian store...
A.: Hmmm... if they have that eggplant.

Side note: amid the proliferation of completely gratuitous kitchen gadgets, I wish someone would invent a tool that cleanly removes the seeds from eggplant.

Mom: I'll check.
A.: Thanks!

***
Speaking of food shopping, I'm starting to question my local grocery stores.

This isn't the first time I've had complaints about the Trader Joe's in Old Town--as much as I love having it there--but I'm getting really, really sick of their $hit. By which I mean their half-rotting produce and unavailability of products. I happened to stop into the TJ's at Bailey's Crossroads yesterday, and they had (a) organic pink lady apples, which TJ's has been out of for months (their supply of organic apples has been generally inconsistent); (b) bags of organic lemons and sweet potatoes that aren't one foot in the grave. They just had more stuff.

Meanwhile, I stopped into the Whole Foods in Logan Circle the other night before heading to a friend's, and I've always known that that WF was awesome (I used to live not far from their) and that the one in Old Town paled by comparison (lame bulk bin, etc.) but I hadn't been to the LC WF in a while, and I was once again impressed with what they actually had available.

Really, Old Town grocery stores? C'mon--this is the city of 20 doggy bakeries per human resident, and you're going to let DC beat you on human food?