Monday night roundup and ramble

El Salvador's peace is holding.

Don't waste your money on diamonds. I've become a fan of moissanite.

I've not noticed Lonely Planet's apparent political bias perhaps because I don't spend a lot of time on the history/politics sections... although I did read the one for the Czech Republic, but the communist era was anything but glorified therein. Which is not to say I don't believe it. I struggled with this general frustration in Nicaragua--not related to the guidebook I had there, which was a Footprint guide, and I've since switched almost exclusively to LP because I find it much more user friendly than the others--but I was frustrated with liberals who lionized the Sandinistas. The Sandinistas were a murderous, abusive regime. Just because they replaced a murderous, abusive regime, doesn't mean they can take up the same tactics and be praised for it by people who should be concerned about human rights.

The Onion's latest "American Voices" is hilarious and, in terms of the middle response, spot-on. Does anyone ever ask women what body types they prefer? Maybe, but I haven't seen many studies on the matter. Check out my rant from a month or so ago that derided the idea that there's any one, fixed ideal of attractiveness.

I'm not saying physical appearance isn't important; I'm saying it's subjective. I have friends who are more attracted to chubby men; I just happen to be less attracted to them. I'm not saying I couldn't get over that if I met the right person who just happened to be chubby; I'm just saying, it doesn't instinctively appeal to me.

In fact, a few weeks ago, I went on a second date with a pretty chubby guy. I thought, after the first date, he's fun enough, I could grow attracted to him. I did my best to ignore the chubbiness, as well as the other thing that bothered me on the first date: his sloppiness. But the weird thing was, he kept drawing attention to both, and not entirely unintentionally. He asked me what else I was doing that weekend; I told him I was trying to coordinate with a friend who has family in Colombia, and whose mom would be traveling there shortly, to go through a couple of bags of clothes I'd set aside to give away, in case she wanted any for her relatives there. I was nonplussed at his response, which was, “with baggage fees these days, it’s probably not even worth it.” I had to think about it, maybe even overthink it (given that it was an offhand comment, but offhand comments can tell you a lot about a person’s worldview), and I ended up breaking it down into two parts: (1) this guy doesn’t dress very well, so it doesn’t occur to him that these might be nicer clothes, which are also more expensive in the developing world; and (2) this guy is on the larger side, so of course his clothes would take up more space per article. Keep in mind that I'd shrugged it off when he showed up to our first date looking kind of sloppy for a first date, but, as with the chubbiness, his comments were reinforcing exactly the things I was trying to look past (it didn’t help that, earlier, he had talked about not being able to shop at certain places because they didn’t make clothes in his size). Keep in mind that the reason I didn’t go on a third date was more substantive than either of these issues: I had decided against him upon hearing him curse, loudly, in front of a kid. An older kid, mind you (10-14, I’d guess), but still.

I don't know what my point is; I think it's that big can certainly be beautiful, but to some people it's just not, and the bigger issue is that we shouldn't cater to what any percentage or type of people do or don't find attractive. I'm not above being turned off by appearance, and I'm not suggesting anyone else should be. What I'm above is declaring that one manifestation of appearance is inherently more attractive than another.

***
M.--the first who was to look through the clothes--finally came by, yesterday, and it was worth the wait: she ended up taking almost the entire bag of warm-weather clothes (alas, I still have a bag of winter clothes to drop off, plus a blender and a couple pairs of shoes, to drop off at Goodwill). As she went through the clothes, she kept saying, “these are nice clothes! I can’t believe you’re giving this away.” To which my responses were, (1) if it weren’t nice, I’d just use it as a rag, wouldn’t try to foist it on you; and (2) it just doesn’t fit me anymore. I don't feel the need to keep it around in case I gain weight again; I don't see it happening, since where I am feels more normal than where I was for the three or four years that I was carrying extra.

Anyway, after M. took off, with her ‘Santa Claus’ bag in tow, I saw empty space in my office for the first time in ages and decided to clean it up. I got on a cleaning and purging spree (I’d cleaned the downstairs before her arrival, not because I was trying to impress someone who’s lived with me, but because I’d been meaning to, and her visit was as good an inspiration as any). Clutter just begets clutter—if there’s already a stack of newspapers on the dining room table, why not pile on some more—and my dining room table had gotten out of control. So had my office, so much so that I’d kind of forgotten about it as a room; it became one big pile of crap. So once I saw what a difference a little cleaning and clearing made, I kept going. It feels so good to have all this extra stuff out of my house (as good as it feels to have extra weight off of my body). Now I need to tackle the backyard; I the front yard passable, though not close to manicured. Still, the cleaning and clearing have already done wonders for my Feng Shui.