Wednesday evening ramble

My parents are just not working with me.

I am making an effort to remain upbeat about this visit. I am hoping against hope that the weekend will be dominated by discourse unrelated to (a) how fat I am; (b) how poorly decorated my house is; and (c) how dumb my cat is.

Actually, I was just chatting with a friend about how our parents' generation, having bought houses decades ago, does not understand the market with which we're dealing. But I digress.

I got an e-mail from another friend asking whether I had/wanted to make birthday plans. I told her my parents would be here. Which is fine. If my parents would work with me.

You'll recall that we--my parents and I--had a discussion about how since they were coming down, I wouldn't make other birthday plans. They'd be here some time Friday afternoon. We'd have the evening and the a good part of the weekend to do stuff around town.

A.: When are you leaving on Friday?
Mom: We're thinking about 10am?

Now, that means they probably won't actually be on the road before 2pm, and they might get here at 10pm at the earliest. Which would leave me spending my birthday waiting around for my parents to arrive.

Do you appreciate that nuance: it's not that I object to celebrating my birthday with my parents; rather, I object to spending my birthday, which happens to fall on a Friday night, waiting around for my parents. I do, after all, have friends. And I live in a city where there are drinks to be had (and work in a different city, in which there are even more drinks to be had). And it's precisely because I'm not getting any younger that I don't want to waste a birthday night waiting around at home. Although birthdays with my mother often end in tears (by way of unflattering analyses of my personality, etc.), they are slightly less pathetic than birthdays alone.

So I don't think it's too much to ask for my parents to work with me.

So, back to our conversation:

A.: When are you leaving on Friday?
Mom: We're thinking about 10am?
A.: No.
Mom: ??
A.: That's too late. If you do that, you'll get here too late. You'll be especially tired and crabby, and we'll end up losing the whole weekend [like last time].
Dad: Okay, we'll think about leaving earlier.
A.: Please do. Like 6am. [Because that might get them out of the house by 9am, maybe?]
Mom: That's too early! We'll get stuck in traffic.
A.: You can get stuck in traffic at any point during the day.
Mom: I don't know.

I'm calling them back.

***
Part II

Mom: Hello?
A.: Can we talk about why it would be better to leave earlier?
Mom: I'm glad you called. Do you want this lamp...
A.: No.
Mom: Wait! It's great... it's...
A.: Mom, I have all the lamps I need in the house.
Mom: But...
A.: I don't need another lamp.
Mom: Let me tell you about the lamp.
A.: Mom--I do not want the lamp. I don't care how nice it is. Please do not bring the lamp. Now, then. Do you see why I'd like you to come earlier?
Mom: Yeah, yeah. We'll think about leaving earlier.
A.: Okay.
Mom: Goodnight.
A.: Goodnight.

***
I'm taking my friend up on a "post-parental visit pick me up early next week." And inviting other friends. Like I said, I'm not getting any younger; why shouldn't I double up on birthday celebrations?