yes, it's another roommate post, and he's not even here

I've berated my mother--in person and on these pages--for her lack of graciousness in accepting gifts, not only because it's rude, but because I genuinely believe in valuing the thought behind any gift and accepting it as a token of someone's thinking of you. I've enjoyed, however, not only that sense of appreciation that my friends are thinking of me, but also the practical benefits of the gifts my friends have given me over the years, largely in the form of beautiful objects that fill my living room. One of these is a Bohemian crystal egg that Heather brought me back from Prague.

So let me belabor the point: this Bohemian crystal egg is both beautiful-- it's beautifully made, interesting, classy, etc.; and when I see it, I'm reminded of Heather, and of the fact that she thought of me while she was in Prague.

At this point, you may be putting two and two together, one of the twos being the title of this post. Where is this going?

Well, I came home the other night and saw a Bohemian-style egg on the hallway dresser at the top of the stairs, next to the vase on the same dresser. I don't know whether it was some sort of gift from my roommate, but that would be what creeps me out about this: I don't want my roommate to give me gifts; I want my roommate to understand that we are Not Friends. I'm not that concerned, though, because I don't think he bought it: it has the look of something you get for free at a conference (in terms of a cheesy corporate logo carved into the front of the egg). It is also not especially nice (it lacks the luster of real crystal, and has a big "made in China" sticker on the bottom). Which, I repeat, was a relief: I'm glad my roommate didn't go out and get me a nice Bohemian crystal. And I'd normally feel bad about, pardon the cliche, looking a gift horse in the mouth-- I guess had it been a friend that went to China and brought me a fake Bohemian crystal, I still would have valued it. But in a way, I'm kind of insulted that roommate, well-meaning as he is, would equate, or perhaps expect me to equate, a conference freebie with a genuine object of beauty. Which brings me to the next issue: I'm not sure how to handle this: do I ignore it? Does he expect a thank-you? Am I required to provide said thank-you? Am I expected to leave it there or otherwise incorporate it into my decor for as long as he's in the house? Is this what I get for berating my mother for berating Misha for giving her an actually beautiful wood-carved object from Georgia, which she felt did not match her decor? After all, her reasoning was that Misha was over all the time and would notice if she didn't hang it up on the wall, so may as well be clear right away that she didn't like it rather than leave him wondering.

I certainly don't plan on berating my roommate, nor lecturing him on the difference between an actual Bohemian crystal and a conference freebie or explaining why I'd rather not display an object with a corporate logo. It would not be onerous to leave it on the dresser-- it does kind of match the vase. I don't especially want to thank him for it, but that, too, would not be onerous, except that I want to discourage gifts.

I'm now going to ask you to put two and two more together. You've been listening to me kvetch about my roommate, and some of you have already asked whether I need a roommate. As I've said, I'm managing the situation, and I don't mind having kvetch fodder. I'm used to it. And it's absolutely worth it. Two months after-tax rent would fund a trip to Paris; three, a trip to Ljublyana. This is all academic, because it's more like two will fund my gate and fencing needs, but I still think in terms of travel, and as long as a couple months' rent is the equivalent of a trip, and roommate's quirks and antics remain blogworthy but not disruptive, it's a no-brainer.