The least f*ed up conversations we had over breakfast

Mom: We have to get on Skype, now!
A.: This minute?
Mom: Olga loves squirrels.
A.: Are there no squirrels in Russia?
Mom: Not really; they'd be hunted for fur. What a savage concept!
A.: If it's such a savage concept, why do you wear fur?
Mom: Should I throw away Natasha's coat?
A.: No, but if you're gonna wear fur, don't be surprised that people hunt squirrels.
Mom: I'm not surprised.
Dad: These are unrelated concepts. Fur is an ancient tradition.
A.: Huh?
Mom: All those potatoes are going to make you fat.
A.: No they're not.
Mom: You have a belly.
A.: That's because we've been eating four servings of cabbage a day, in its various forms.
Mom: Cabbage is good for you.
Dad: If Russia didn't have cabbage, the whole country would be malnourished.
A.: I'm not knocking cabbage; just saying, it's why my gut is out to the moon. It's not because of potatoes.
Mom: If potatoes don't make you fat, what does?
A.: The half-pint of cream you put in your oatmeal.
Mom: Cream is good for you!
A.: [Sigh.]