The first few hours

Mom: I don't like those pants on you.

Three seconds later

Mom: Look at that-- you've grown quite a stomach!
***

Many hours earlier

Mom: Hello?
A.: Hi, mom. My flight is delayed. I won't be getting in until 5:30 or so.
Mom: So late? Why are you coming so late? I'd hoped we could go for a walk in the morning on Sunday.
A.: Mom, I'm getting in tonight. I'm at the airport now.
Mom: Tonight? I thought it was Sunday. Dad thought it was Saturday.
A.: I did send you the itinerary.
Mom: The house is a mess...
A.: It doesn't matter. I'll call you when we land.

***
The flight was delayed two more times. I don't know why, but it didn't bother me. Perhaps because I was (selectively) observing Yom Kippur, so I didn't have the energy to do much but sit at the airport for hours. I had work to do and magazines to read. And I figured my mother would have plenty of time over the course of my visit to point out that I've gained weight. Which I certainly haven't since she last saw me, but I think she just likes to act surprised.

One of the big challenges over the next few days is to get mom to understand that I am moving into a very small house (that she does get; her reaction to the photos was, "it's small") and that I'm going out of my way not to fill it with crap. She's already offering me stuff and telling me not to buy anything. Which reminds me...

Earlier this evening

A.: I'm so glad you threw out all those twenty-year old beauty products.
Mom: Oh, I didn't throw them out. I couldn't do it.
A.: Sigh.


Later this evening

Mom: Why is it that you've put on weight?
A.: I don't know, mom.
Mom: Huh.

Pause

Mom: But you know you have.
A.: I don't think I have since we last saw one another.
Mom: I think you have.
A.: Okay. Goodnight.