Does your mom realize taste is relative?

For the next half-hour, my mother continued to tell me how tastelessly I had dressed.

"Those shoes are awful. Try these," she would say, taking out some clunky, ugly shoes.

"That skirt is truly horrific. And the sweater doesn't go with the skirt at all."

"Your hair looks bad, too."

My favorite was, "your hair is awful, those shoes are awful... everything you could have possibly done to uglify your look, you've done."

To her credit, she didn't tell me I looked fat.

It was finally time to go, time for her to drive me to the Marriot. I wanted to drive myself, but she kept telling me the police are cracking down on drunk drivers (my reassurances that I would not be driving drunk were little comfort), and since it was a very short drive and I pick my battles, I let it go.

***
I arrived at the rehearsal dinner, confidence shattered. Luckily, my friends (and Rachel's) had my back.


Wendy: I love that skirt. What color is that, is that "wine?"

Elizabeth, whom I hadn't met before: I love that outfit, it's very fun.

Martha: I really like your shoes. The outfit is very classically nice.

Tracy: I like your hair like that.

I thanked them, at one point actually told them it meant a lot because my mother had berated me beforehand for looking tasteless. James, Wendy's husband, asked what my mother would say if I told her they all thought I had dressed well.

She would say, "they're just being polite." I didn't tell her, because I didn't want to hear it.

Wendy: Does your mother realize that taste is relative?

Not at all.

***

My parents picked me up from the rehearsal dinner.

A.: Wendy will give me a ride to the wedding tomorrow.
Mom: Wendy came out from California?
A.: Yes.
Mom: Did her husband fly out as well.
A.: Yes.
Mom: All this fuss. What a hassle.
A.: It's an important part of your friends' lives, so you want to be a part of it.
Mom: Maybe it's an important part, maybe it's not an important part.
Dad: So tomorrow is just the ceremony?
A.: No, there will be a reception.
Mom: Henrietta did things right; there was just one wedding celebration.

I didn't say, there was probably a rehearsal dinner but you weren't invited to it.

Dad: What is the problem? If it brings people joy and gives them more opportunity to see the people who have come out for the wedding...
Mom: Who says it brings people joy?
Dad: I said, "if it brings people joy..."
Mom: I don't think it brings people joy. I think they're just showing off.
A.: In the case of my friends, I doubt it.
Mom: Oh, please.

After an evening so full of insensitive comments, I could not go to bed without blogging.

Mom: You're already on the computer?
A.: Is that okay?
Mom: Just shut it off when you're done.