Life is not a campaign

I was surprised when shortly after lunch, mom said she was ready to go for a walk. I put my shoes on, got ready to go, and sure enough it was another half-hour or so before we left. As I put on a light jacket, she said, "you'll be hot in that." I shrugged, said I'd take it off if that happened. Less than a minute later, we walked out and she said, "you're too warm." I said, "look, I'm a grown-up. I know how to regulate my temperature."

Throughout the course of the walk, she kept on telling me to look at things. I told her I was looking. She didn't believe me. Later she asked why I didn't turn my head when I walked, why I just walked. I didn't have an answer to that, I just like to walk.

We talked about various things, including skin care. I said I'd read that sugar contributes to wrinkles. Mom got very defensive.

Mom: Genetics are important, too.
A.: I'm not arguing with that. I'm saying that sugar makes a difference.
Mom: Look at the lake.
A.: I see it.
Mom: Look at the lake.
A.: This reminds me of the Canadian Rockies. Up by Jasper especially, there were myriad clear lakes in which you could see the mountains and trees reflected.
Mom: There are lakes here, too.

My mother has asked me, not once, why it is that I'm willing to engage in more substantive conversations with, for example, her friends. The above conversation is one reason (or two, depending how you look at it): things tend to come back to being about her, and everything is competitive, everything can be one-upped. Another reason is that everything gets oversimplified and referenced derisively, as over dinner:

Mom: Someone told A. that sugar is unhealthy.
A.: I've read about how sugar contributes to wrinkles.
Mom: These matza-balls are too tough. You put too much grain in.
A.: Mine are okay, but you're right; I thought it was a bit too much but didn't want to add another egg.

Five seconds later:

Mom: These matza-balls are too tough.

Ten seconds later:

Mom: These matza-balls are too tough.
A.: You've said that, twice.
Mom: No! These are too tough.
[Then, softening a bit] But they're not bad.
A.: I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm simply saying that you've made your point.

I'm not being defensive; she does that in restaurants too and it's annoying. More importantly, my life is not a campaign. I am not running for office. Therefore, I see no need to oversimplify and spin the things I say.