Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Possibly the dumbest conversation, ever

Mom: You should have a baby. It would contribute to humanity.
A.: Are you saying Gracie doesn't contribute to humanity?
Mom: She does. But a baby would contribute more. You should have one.
A.: You should get a cat.
Mom: I keep asking for one!
A.: You have to agree to clear a path to the litter box.
Mom: Get me the cat, and we'll have a conversation about getting to the litter box.
Dad: You'd have to teach the cat to fly.
Mom: Please.
Dad: Have you been down there? It's impassible.
Mom: Cleaning products are a good thing. The more, the better.
A.: That's just not true.
Mom: How is that not true?
A.: You know how whenever you visit, you talk about how clean my house is, and you ask whether I hire professional cleaners? I can keep it clean with minimal products and because I don't have a lot of stuff.
Mom: Don't tell me what to do! If you don't like dirt, don't visit! You keep your house your way and I'll keep mine, my way.
A.: Do whatever you want; I'm merely telling you that you don't need that many cleaning products and that the cat you want has no way of getting to its litter box.
Mom: This is my house!
A.: It is, indeed.
Mom: Then what is your problem?
A.: If you want a cat, you're going to have to sacrifice some cleaning products.
Mom: Don't tell me what to do!

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