Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Testing the phone

I enjoyed having dinner with Jason, Heather and Alastair, and Trivial Pursuit was lots of fun. With two pie pieces to win each, and all of us tired, I decide 10:35 to call my parents to ask them to come get me. My mom calls almost fifteen minutes later.

A.: Hi. Do you know where you're going?
Mom: Oh, we haven't left yet. I'm just testing the phone.

Jay: Testing the phone? WTF?
A.: [Shrug].

At about 11:30pm, I hear a beep, figure it's my parents. I say goodbye to everyone and head downstairs. By the time I've gotten downstairs, dad is inside the front door and the woman on the first floor is out in the hallway.

In the car, I ask what she was doing there.

A.: You didn't ring her doorbell, did you?
Dad: I didn't know which one was Jason's.
A.: You should have just called me. It's 11:30pm.
Mom: How does he live here? Where is there to park?
Dad: We thought you'd be waiting outside.
A.: I had no idea when you'd get here.
Dad: Well, you could have estimated.

Um, excuse me. It would have taken you just over 15 minutes to get here, yet fifteen minutes after I called, you hadn't left the house. I was supposed to wait out in the cold, rather than spend time with friends, one of whom is in from overseas.

A.: You could have called me.
Mom: We'd have had to mess with the phone!

By this she meant, find my number, which she'd just called. This is more of a hassle than waking up everyone in Jason's building.

Dad, Mom: What is wrong with you? Why are you being like this? Next time make your own travel arrangements.
A.: Well I did ask to borrow the car.
Mom: Oh, no-- next time you can take the T.
A.: Fine.
Mom: I don't like this neighborhood. Nowhere to go for walks... why did Jason buy here?
A.: It's convenient to work... it's actually a nice neighborhood.
Mom: Does he have a view?
A.: What? A view where?
Mom: It's always nice to have a view.

For the remainder of the trip home, mom chastises for me for implying that she should have called me when she got close to or even to Jason's house, and continues to ask questions about why Jason bought where he did. I continue to shrug.

***
Something about last night reminded me of New Year's Day many years ago at Heather's then-apartment. We were playing a board game, and Heather and I both vented about our mothers. We wondered whether we would have interpersonal issues, whether we'd observed and taken on some bad habits. Heather concluded that we'd be fine, that neither of us would treat people that way, that we were aware of how not to interact with others, how not to be abusive.

I don't remember which board game we played, but I remember Jason was on my team and at one point I was trying to get him to guess the word "pistachio" without saying or spelling it.

A.: It's a nut, it's green...
Jay: Almond? Peanut? Almond?
A.: It comes in a split shell, it's green, it grows in...
Jay: Cashew? Almond?
A.: It's small, it's green...
Jay: Peanut?
A.: Jason! Don't be a moron!
Jay: Pistachio?

Pause

A.: What if I am turning into my mother?

***
Over the last week I've done quite a bit of venting about my mother, and the most involved blog is yet to be posted (for reasons that will become clear once I post it). Out of fairness, I want to let you know that my mom spent a lot of time altering a couple of suits for me (hence the comments about my having enough suits). Now, I a) asked her if she would prefer that I took them to a tailor; b) said please; c) said thank you; d) told her not to do them if they would take too much time; e) told her to only do them when she had time. Nonetheless, they took her a lot of time and she did them, and I'm grateful, and it's only fair to point out that while Mom is demanding she is also very giving.

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