Sappy Monday morning ramble

Believe it or not, my preference is to eschew solipsism (whether or not I succeed is another question). In any case, occasionally I feel the need to tell you, for context, Things About Me. Today those things are, I'm not a very emotional person, and my French is not bad. These Things About Me came together this morning when I called a friend in Europe, as I often do when I have the morning off (usually on account of leaving for a business trip later in the day).

I'd coordinated the phone call ahead of time, to check that it was a good time for Anne. Just e-mailing back and forth got me nostalgic, made me realize that it was ten years ago, for her brother's 30th birthday celebration, that I was last in France. That was such a good time, and it felt very natural, normal to be there. But it's been ten years since I've been there. I couldn't go to Anne's wedding, as it was the summer I moved to DC. I haven't met her husband, or her kids. Although I could never complain about the travel opportunities that have come my way over those years, I'd love to go back to France, even though I miss the memories as much as I miss the country. Anne understands my preference, in a world of limited resources, for exploring countries I know less well. And yet, in the course of our phone call, which felt like we'd last seen each other months ago--not a decade, a wedding and two births apart--I had this sudden urge to communicate the following: "even though it's been a while, I love you and miss you." It didn't occur to me to actually try to say this, directly. I just wanted her to know. And I wondered later whether the language barrier factored into my not having said it--would I have said it to Kate? Kate would know, anyway, but Kate and I have seen each other over the years. Maybe, hopefully, Anne knows, too.