At gymnastics, you were completely useless

Dad, for the fourth time: What are we waiting for? Let's go. It's nice out.
Mom: I'm waiting for you.

Then she continues to do other things for a few more minutes.

A.: Let's go!

Finally, we get in the car.

Mom: Small river or big river?
A.: Big river. We have time.
Mom: Which, the one farther out?
A.: Yes.
Mom: Are you sure?
A.: I don't care-- just go whereever you want.
Mom: Well, tell me where.
A.: I just did.
Mom: Big river or small river?
A.: Big river.

On the way home from the walk, we drove by one of my old stomping grounds, and mom decided to ensure, once again, that I would never forget that she tried to instill in me various abilities:

"This is where you took skating lessons. You also took swimming... what else? At gymnastics, you were completely useless. Martial arts-- I still remember, $500 right out the window."

***
Mad libs

Mom: Why don't you want [any object on earth, the more useless the more fitting].
A.: Mom, I just moved to a small house, with limited space. I don't need to fill it with things I won't use. Please stop offering me things and then making me explain why I don't want them.

Now multiply that conversation times at least five times a day.

***
I am roasting peppers. I go to compost a cap and surrounding seeds.

Mom: What are you doing? Seeds are the healthiest part!
A.: They're not, actually.
Mom: Well, save them.
A.: Fine.

Ten minutes later

Mom: Well, you roasted your peppers-- why have you left the caps and seeds on the cutting board?
A.: You wouldn't let me throw them out.
Dad: That's true. You wouldn't.
Mom: Oh.