Live the nightmare of home ownership

I'd bought my Thanksgiving ticket to Boston shortly before I knew I would be buying a house, so I had no choice but to take my exhausted, unhandy, bruised self out of home improvement land and 'home for the holidays.' I can't remember a time that I was so happy to get on a plane. I didn't even care that a baby was whine-crying throughout pretty much the whole flight.

I couldn't blog for the last week, partly because I devoted every waking moment to moving and home repair, and partly because the [expletive too crass even for these pages] at Verizon cut off my internet early. I did want to share a couple of articles, including one by David Brooks. Gail Collins amuses as always; and I had a lot to say about this piece on our national innumeracy in home ec but I've now forgotten most of it.

There were some memorable mom moments, including some from tonight. Mom was especially pensive on the way home from the airport, as she tends to be whenever I have a really good reason to want to just get somewhere. She pulled into the driveway.

Mom: I can never quite see the fence.
A.: You have plenty of room.
Mom: That's what you think!
A.: I can see that you have plenty of room.
Mom: Ha! I do not!

She parks. And dilly-dallies.

A.: Could you open the trunk please?
Mom: Just a minute!

We come up to the front porch. Mom starts talking about the dog across the street.

A.: Mom?
Mom: What!
A.: Could you open the door?
Mom: What is your problem? You know what, you should just stop coming here. That I could get used to, but your tone of voice is just too much to take!
A.: All I asked was for you to open the door.

This continued pretty much throughout the evening.

What's noteworthy is that she hasn't told me that I've put on weight. Yet. This may be because I've actually lost eight pounds since her birthday a couple of months ago. One of the perks of homeownership: you don't have time to eat.

What was actually awesome was when she called a week or so ago and lectured me on the importance of sleep (I admitted that I'd been waking up at 4am, which is actually only an hour earlier than I normally get up, but why miss an opportunity to lecture). She said, "everyone is saying it's important to sleep!" as if I needed convincing. I didn't point out that she only acknowledged the importance of sleep when she didn't feel like waking me up in the middle of the night to (a) call me an idiot, (b) ask me what time it was, even though there was a clock right there, or (c) just want to tell me something.

***
For the first time in ages, complaining about mom isn't all that therapeutic, because I'm so much more pissed off at just about everyone else: Verizon, Traveler's (renter's insurance), the woman who sold me her house and hid so many signs of disrepair and filth under carpets and behind furniture (and never turned off her phone service, so now I can't turn mine on without paying Verizon $95 to come out and transfer the wires to the right jacks, although they said I could do that myself... but everytime I try to do something myself, I end up sustaining an injury... but that can't be that hard, can it?). I'm also mad at myself-- I've made a lot of bad decisions; for you Dr. Seuss fans, I've been stuck in 'games you can't win 'cause you play against you' mode for much of this process. In addition to injuring myself, I've also, at times, created more work for myself. I've made progress, though.

I should also point out that while I am exhausted, I would be screwed as well if it weren't for the support and help of many friends, who have gone far beyond the call of duty to help me move and fix things.

On that note, goodnight.