Monday, October 17, 2011

Monday morning roundup and response to comment

More awesome OWES signs.

Herman Cain thinks you're stupid.

This, my friends, is why (some) conservatives piss me off. The federal government is imposing marriage? Imposing marriage on whom? How is someone else's marriage an imposition?

Muscular women are sexy, too.

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In all fairness, I don't pretend to have known better than the people who bought at the height of the market; I, too, just didn't have the money to buy earlier. The only thing I did right was not buy in spite of not having the money. I had people tell me that it didn't matter how much a house cost, because it would keep going up in value. I chose to disregard those people. I had (smarter) people tell me that no market goes up indefinitely and to wait until I found something I could afford. And I had the sense not to buy for the sake of buying; I bought only when I found the house that worked for me. So I don't stand in judgment of people who bought at a less opportune time; I just don't see why they should get their mortgages forgiven, when I won't.

The truth is, you can follow all the best advice and best conventional wisdom and still get burned. That's what the OWES protests, at their essence, are largely about. Just like I was "lucky" that I wasn't in the market for a house when prices were uber-inflated, I was lucky to get out of college, and then grad school, in a better economy. But there's a generation of people who followed the rules, and got screwed. They were told that student debt was good debt, that it was an investment in their future. And it probably is. But for now, they're in debt because they followed the rules, and the bankers who broke the rules and f*ed everything up for everyone got bailed out.

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I don't know whether you read the entire Atlantic article and/or some of the comments, but the comments are truly revealing. A ton of them are from guys who say "ha! women are getting burned for thinking they can ignore their biological predetermination! What did they think was going to happen?" It's that old line about how men get more desirable with age (because they get wealthier) and women get less so (because they become less good looking, theoretically, and less fertile). Let's take the first half of that equation first: these guys are failing to realize that as women become more financially independent, men's financial situation is less important. So that leaves the second half, to which I say, less fertile, sure, less attractive, bullshit. Leaving aside the reality that women of all ages partner up and get married, and that a lot of people who marry younger get divorce or stay stuck in unhappy marriages, it's just absolute bullshit that older women are inherently less desirable. I just *don't* buy it. And I personally hope that there are children in my future--particularly biological children--but, like the author, I refuse to let my biology dictate my future. In other words, I refuse to devalue myself as a partner just because I'm no longer 25. If anything, I think I'll make a much better partner and mother in my 30s than I ever would have in my 20s. Some people will disagree, but I'm sure I disagree with their value as partners and parents, too.

1 comment:

Ernessa T. Carter said...

i did read the full article -- but not the comments, b/c those same guys seem to troll every single lady column with the same comments. what's weird is that dudes do get unsexier with age. Trust me, 50+ Jack Nicholson was and is not pulling the fine ladies like 20 to 40-something Jack Nicholson. Yes, if you have a lot of money, you can pull a hot young thing, but that's not really love, is it? Living in California, I know plenty of people in May-December romances and they usually don't work out. The woman usually ends up dumping the older guy for someone her own age. So I'm not sure why these trolls insist on pulling this card -- maybe because they desperately want to believe it. What's also funny is that I'm sure that the majority of guys saying this aren't wealthy. As for biological predetermination, it goes both ways. New studies are coming out every month linking the father's age to infertility and birth defects. A few of my friends have gotten the "freezing your eggs" talk from their gynos. And I think that men should also think about harvesting their sperm. While I agree that we shouldn't let biology dictate our dating lives, I also think we should be talking way more about the choices available to us. If you don't plan to have children before the age of 35, freeze your eggs. It's fairly simple and way less expensive then having to do it later on with older eggs. It's a pretty logical solution, but all these articles frame it like women have no choice but to either settle or risk infertility. Somehow it's perfectly acceptable to actually plan for retirement but not for infertility.