Monday, October 3, 2011

Big, varied Monday evening roundup

Citizen volunteers keep an eye on domestic violence judges.

It's not compassion fatigue but that other thing they explain at the end of this article that differentiates my giving behavior from my mother's: I'm more likely to give to homeless shelters and other homelessness organizations, but I'll walk right by most people on the street; she'll do the opposite.

Why the Solyndra debacle won't cost the government as much as you think and shouldn't spell the end of investments in sustainable energy.

Yeah, there's a limit to what can legitimately be itemized out of a base airfare. I've redeemed three round-trip frequent flier tickets (from American Airlines), and all those taxes and fees were included all three times (I did pay $30-$50 in other fees, but that's less than a tenth of what BA is charging outside the base fare).

Organic strawberries aren't (sigh) always organic.

I love that the New York Times has written about three DC shows, but I wish they'd cast a wider net to include one or two more really good ones (like "The Habit of Art"). I don't disagree with the article's substance: I enjoyed "The Liar;" didn't go to "Imagining Madoff" precisely because I figured it would be meandering; and I didn't go to "Macbeth," because, as much as I believe in innovation, I hardly see the point of Shakespeare without the language. Not saying people shouldn't try it; just saying it's not my thing.

Check out BBC's photos of the day; the smiling kid in the floodwaters is especially compelling.

I found Atul Gawande's piece on coaching fascinating, especially from the perspective of writing. I don't know how many writers have coaches, but the very process of writing usually entails a lot of the coaching elements he talks about, where editors play the role of coach. They don't work their magic in real time, which makes sense: unlike surgery or singing or sports, someone can go in after the fact and make suggestions. It's not quite the same because it's about improving the product, not the technique, but it's about providing that second set of eyes.

I love the MacArthur Foundation's guidelines for genius: “originality, self-direction and capacity to contribute importantly to society.”

Y'all know I've always loved Miss Manners, but this column gives me a new appreciation for her work. I really identify with those hosts, and it's just such an awkward situation because people are trying to be polite. They operate in a different paradigm, partly brought about by the fact that people don't host the same way anymore. I was trying to explain this to a friend who said that if I didn't feel like hosting an AVD party that year, I should make it a potluck. I don't have a problem with potlucks, but they're a whole different thing and they're not what I conceive as a party where one has guests. I know it's old-fashioned, but I feel that when I invite people to an event, I agree to be the host. That means they don't have to worry about anything. Some gifts may be appreciated but not necessary (flowers or wine), others are flat-out unwelcome. As Miss Manners makes very clear, it's quite rude to bring substantive gifts because you're messing with what the host has put together. It's unfortunate that people don't see it that way, but it's true. One person I know brought brownies to a baby shower some friends and I were hosting; it was kind of annoying because we had plenty of dessert--I just can't imagine why someone would do that without checking with the hosts.

Now some of you may be thinking, "but you're a mess, and you're always scrambling before the party starts." That's true, but bringing extraneous things doesn't help (unless we've arranged that beforehand). I also appreciate it when people call and ask if there's anything specific they can pick up. But that's different from bringing a dish that has nothing to do with what the host is doing. And I've also learned not to rely on it (more than once, the people who have offered to bring something substantive have ended up not being able to make it; that's fine, but where does that leave you if you figure them into your menu plan?). All this to say, it's nice to ask, but it's also nice to take the host at his or her word when the word is, "please don't bring anything."

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