Friday, July 4, 2008

Someone needs a drink. I think it's me.

Mom: How was the party?
A.: What party?
Mom: You had a party.
A.: I did?
Mom: A party, at work. It's why you didn't come up.
A.: It wasn't a party. It was a meeting.

I never said "party." And I didn't really say that it was why I didn't come up... I just said that there was a meeting (perhaps I said event, something like that) I had to be at. I didn't come up because I spent three weeks with my parents a few months ago and still need a bit more time before I'm willing to immerse myself in dysfunction. I did have a meeting at work, which ended up being canceled-- but I didn't tell her that.

Side note: I ordered some prints from the China trip, particularly family pictures. It was a good trip, I enjoyed spending time with my parents. It was also stressful and I need some time to myself.

Dad: Do they do fireworks at Lincoln Center?
A.: Lincoln Center is in NYC... Washington has a Kennedy Center. The fireworks are on the Mall...
Dad: Huh?
A.: That big stretch of green, where the museums are...
Dad: Wait a minute-- what about that memorial we went to?
A.: There are lots of memorials in DC...
Mom: No, with the fallen soldiers and where we ran into your friend...
A.: The Lincoln Memorial. Yeah, that was the Lincoln Memorial [the Vietnam veterans' memorial leads up to the Lincoln Memorial].
Mom: You're going there?
A.: No, I'm going to a friend's apartment. There's a great view of the fireworks from the building's roof deck.
Mom: When are you going?
A.: I'll probably head over pretty soon... he's expecting people around 6:30.
Mom: So early! It won't be dark yet.

This is true. However, it's not entirely pointless to sit around and talk to interesting people, even while waiting fireworks.

Mom: There's a reception, or something? What is there going to be?
A., getting a little irritated at mom's need to micromanage a social event that I'll be attending: There's going to be people, and food. What else might there be?
Mom: Don't get snippy! I asked you a question! Answer it in a normal tone of voice.
A.: Okay, sorry.

She has a point. If she could hear herself, though! How does she expect me to answer that question? Perhaps I should have said, "there will be a concert pianist and tables set up for highbrow card games to keep us entertained as we guard our roof deck real estate while we await the fireworks."

If you think my annoyance is unjustified, it is because you don't know my mother. She has a habit of asking very detailed questions, sometimes to which I couldn't possibly know the answers, and sometimes to which the answers would mean nothing to her. This habit comes through when she's listening to a joke:

Fictional joke teller: A man walked into a bar...
Mom: What man?
FJT: Just a man.
Mom: What bar?
FJT: It doesn't matter. A bar.
Mom: Why is he going there?

FJT gives up.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd better go get ready to stake out my roof deck spot.

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