in one ear...

This is hardly an original thought, but I sometimes wonder whether my parents listen. It's like talking to a brick wall.

A.: Have you set up a ff account yet?
Mom: No-- what do I need?
A.: You're reservation code-- it's six letters.

Dad starts reading out a series of numbers.

A.: It's six letters.
Mom: Oh, I see it... it's...
A.: I'm not near my computer right now, nor do I have a pen. Give me a few minutes...
Mom: XZD...
A.: I'm not near my computer...
Mom: Okay. [three seconds pass] XZD...
A.: Stop. I can't do anything with that number right now.
Mom: Okay, I'll call you when I've figured out what to do.
A.: Sounds good.
Dad: You've already set up your account?
A.: I've had it for years.

We've been over this. It's why I have status, why dad and I will get Economy Plus.

I'll acknowledge that some people overvalue frequent flier miles or otherwise take them much too seriously-- a friend of mine who works with divorce attorneys once told me that divorcing couples fight over miles. As unfungible as they can be, miles are still worth something, and when you're flying to China and back, you may as well collect them.

***

Closely related to not listening is the phenomenon of arguing with the messenger. I am not the TSA, nor the Chinese customs bureau. I don't make the rules; I simply convey them to my parents so that they don't find their health and beauty aids confiscated.

Mom: I'm bringing only carry-on luggage.
A.: I think I am as well. My only hesitation is that I want to bring enough toothpaste.
Mom: What's in toothpaste? How are you going to blow anything up with toothpaste?
A.: I'm just saying.

Later

A.: Oh, if you're bringing prescription medication, bring it in its original packaging.
Mom: What? What am I going to blow up with pills?
A.: It's not airport security- it's Chinese customs. They'll want to ensure you're not smuggling drugs.
Mom: I'm not smuggling drugs. Who cares? What are they going to do?
A.: At the least, confiscate your medication.
Mom: But it's a big container!
A.: I'm just telling you it's an issue.

Actually, one of the frustrating things about traveling with mom is that she doesn't think rules apply to her. Say she's about to feed some ducks, when I point out a sign that says not to feed the ducks. Her response would be, "oh, that's just for locals- I'm sure tourists can do it," or something equally absurd. When I protest, she says, "you're so correct all the time." Guilty: I like to respect the rules and suggestions of the places I visit.

***
My dad, also, is often guilty of reasoning with the messenger. I was home for the holidays just after Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. Dad asked what I thought; part of my response was that Musharraf would be blamed.

Dad: But it's not to his advantage.
A.: That doesn't mean that he won't be blamed for it...
Dad: But that doesn't make sense.

I'll spare you the details, but dad tried to convince me that he wasn't behind the assassination. I pointed out that I wasn't suggesting he was, restated my case for believing that many people in-country would blame him, but to no avail: dad continued to believe that I was the one that needed convincing.

I'm really hoping we can stay away from political discussions for the duration of the trip.