WTF phone call

Mom: So, what did you have for Thanksgiving?
A.: So, I went to two different celebrations. At the first one, my friend served Tofurkey...
Mom: Huh?
A.: Tofurkey.
Mom: What's that?
A.: It's a "turkey" made of tofu.
Mom: Ha ha ha ha ha! Whoever would have thought!
A.: You laugh, but it's quite the thing. The Post front-paged its Thanksgiving food section with a fake turkey taste test. (Pause.) How was your Thanksgiving?
Mom: It was great. We went to Tanya's. You know, she called me the next day and said to me, "I tell you this because I love you: you need a haircut. Your hairstyle is aging you. I know of a great Italian place where you can go to get it cut." It meant a lot to me that she said that--you could tell it made her uncomfortable.
A.: That's because she doesn't know you.
Mom: Anyway, can't wait to see you. Maria, too.
A.: Mom, we talked about this.
Mom: So?
A.: Have you at least told her?
Mom: Maybe. I don't remember.
A.: I think it's only fair that you tell her.
Mom: Why? What's the big deal? Maybe it won't work out.
A.: Thanks, mom.
Mom: I'm just sayin'.
A.: Yes, you are.
Mom: These guys are educated, they're hard-working...
A.: This conversation is over, mom.
Mom: Who is this guy, anyway? Where does he live?
A.: Here.
Mom: What, Virginia?
A.: Yeah.
Mom: Where does he work?
A.: Also here.
Mom: Huh.
A.: Are we done?
Mom: What denomination is he?
A.: He's not really anything, but his parents are Protestant.
Mom: Oh! Protestants are awful. That is awful.
A.: I don't see how it's relevant.
Mom: Besides, I just don't see how it can work: one of you speaks Russian, the other doesn't? How does that even work?
A.: Bye, mom. Dad, talk to her, please. Dad?
Mom: Dad?
[Pause.]
A.: I guess he's asleep.
Dad: No, I'm here. I took the phone away from my ear because I couldn't stand to listen to this horsecrap.
A.: [laughs]
Mom: Please! Like you don't think it's important!
A.: Bye, mom. Bye, dad.
Dad: Bye. Have a good night.
Mom: Keep your options open. Goodnight.