My mother

Mom called late last night; I was out, and by the time I got her message, it was too late to call back. And this morning, I started running around and doing other things. So she called again. I still couldn't talk, but she insisted I call her later when I had more time. So I did.

Mom: So, how's the weather.
A.: Great--
Mom: It's great here too. So nice out. Nice out where you are?
A.: Yeah...
Mom: So, what do you have going on?
A.: Not much.
Mom: I mean, anything going on?
A.: What do you mean by going on?
Mom: You know--"going on."
A.: Not really.
Mom: When are you heading up here?
A.: Just before Christmas.
Mom: Not before?
A.: No.
Mom: Really? Not Thanksgiving?
A.: No... it's just not going to happen. Too much going on here.
Mom: Okay, because there's this event on the 20th...
A.: Yeah, I definitely can't be there.
Mom: So, you know, Maria's always wanted to introduce you to her son--
A.: Not interested.
Mom: But wait!
A.: Mom, if that's what you mean, I do have something going on.
Mom: You know, I kind of thought so.
A.: Why?
Mom: I don't know. But I had a feeling. So you have something going on. So?
A.: What do you mean,"so"?
Mom: He's a great guy. He has multiple degrees. He's a lawyer...
A.: Mom, did you hear me? I'm seeing someone.
Mom: That doesn't mean you should close off other options. Always keep an eye out.
A.: Mom, I'm not interested.
Mom: You know what I can tell you about Russians--they make great partners. They're very smart...
A.: This conversation is over.
Mom: ...and most importantly, they worship their mothers. And that's very important.
A.: Mom.
Mom: He has an apartment on--[Dad], what's the most expensive street in Boston?
A.: I don't care, mom.
Mom: You should.
A.: Well, I don't.
Mom: So when are you going to meet him?
A.: I'm not.
Mom: You won't even meet him?
A.: I'm. Seeing. Someone.
Mom: So?
A.: Bye, mom.
Mom: So, you'll at least meet him?
A.: Bye, mom.
Mom: [Sigh.] Bye.

***
This woman's son is the new Google. Not only will mom not back off about something I'm not interested in, she's so focused on it that she's oblivious and indifferent to what's actually happening: then, I was applying to jobs I actually wanted, and when I got one, she was completely blindsided; now, I'm dating this amazing guy. Like, I almost don't believe he's real, but I know he's not imaginary because my yard looks good for the first time since I moved here three years ago, because he helped me with yardwork. Who does that? But I digress. You'd think mom might be interested in the life I have, and in the people in my life, but apparently she'd rather point me in the direction of Newbury Street.