Go Away I Will Deal With You Later

Regarding the title: You've all heard Jay's choking story, right? It's not the same without the visual, so Jay, would you video it and send so I can post it?

Anyway, I promise that I am going to stop harping on how annoying Gracie is, but this is in response to one of your questions about an earlier post.

One of you asked me whether I work more now than I did before, in reference to the "I am not kitty-mom-in-chief so let me do my job" post. The issue is that I work from home sometimes, which I never did in my old job, so Gracie was never in a position to annoy me while I was working. I worked from home this afternoon-- actually, I went to a conference session in Crystal City in the morning, ran to the office in DC over lunch, ran back for a session in the afternoon, and came home to finish what I needed to get done. Not because I need the hours, but because there was something I absolutely had to get done today (and conference attendance was not optional). So I'm scrambling to get this thing done, and it's bad enough that Gracie's loitering around my feet and whining non-stop even though it's a whole two hours before her dinner time. What's worse is that she decides to jump up on the papers I'm working with. It's like she's trying to do the most annoying, infuriating, disruptive thing possible for that particular moment. To put it in perspective, it would have been less annoying had she done her scatological magic somewhere else in the house (and let me tell you, that is high on the threshold of annoying). I mean, what about my sitting here, focusing intensely, says "please jump on the papers I'm working with"?? I'd say, "what part of 'I'm going to beat you' do you not understand, but I've never actually beat her, which is a good thing. If you're feeling sorry for her right now, you take her while you're trying to work.

Logically, her behavior does her no favors because it only delays what she's asking for. My mom does this kind of thing too, and doesn't register the whole 'if you leave me alone and let me finish what I'm doing, you'll get what you want' faster thing. This is how this argument has unfolded with mom:

Mom: A.! Get off the phone!
A.: One second, mom...
Mom: No, get off the phone NOW!
A.: Well, if you'll let me...
Mom: No, NOW!
A.: I'm not going to hang up on my friend. I'm going to end the conversation in a civilized manner. Now, if you would let me do that...
Mom: No, get off the phone now!
A.: I am going to get off the phone as soon as you stop talking to me.
Mom: Now!
A.: If you're done.
Mom: You always have to have the last word!

This is how the conversation unfolds with Gracie:

Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: Shut up.
Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: I'm going to beat you.
Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: It's not even your dinner time.

Or

Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: Mommy's working.
Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: Gracie, go away.
Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: Gracie, shut up!

Or

Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: In a minute.
Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: I'm getting your food out, dumbass.
Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: The sooner you stop whining and let me get to what I'm doing, rather than having to chase you around with a spray bottle, the sooner you'll get your dinner.
Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: You're so f*ing stupid.
Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: How the f* did you get so stupid? Is it genetic? Were you dropped on your head as a kitten?
Gracie: Meeeeeoooowwwwww
A.: Good thing you're cute.

***
Today (i.e. the day after I wrote the above), Gracie got the beating she's been asking for (well, actually, I still didn't beat her. But I did spray her at close range). She scratched/bit one of my friends, which was really not cool. First, this morning, she was jumping on me while I was in the middle of writing out invitations (it's like she knows when I'm busy and just has to get in the way). Then, some friends were over, and she was attention-w&oring as usual. At one point she jumped on the couch and my friends were petting her. From out of nowhere, she attacked. It was, as I said, really not cool, and she knew it (because she ran away immediately). But I caught her and sprayed her at close range (at which point one friend said, 'wow, when you hold her like that, you can really tell how fat she is.')