Proportionality

For someone who dishes it out all the time, my mom sure can't take it. Or not even "it," for that matter.

She called just now. I asked how her trip was. She answered in great detail and length, which was fine, until, apparently I didn't make any "listening noises" (although I was listening) and my mother said, "hello? helllllooooo?" as she often does for no good reason. I actually find it kind of annoying.

"Yes, I'm listening," I said, in a completely neutral, if not reassuring tone.
"Oh, you're listening. You're doing me a huge favor there."
"Is something wrong?"
"Is something wrong with you?"

Whatever it was, she quickly recovered and went on talking about the trip.

For someone who regularly insults people (albeit with the motivation of improving them) and accuses them of oversensitivity, mom is very sensitive. She can't take a joke, or even a lighthearted comment. If I, say, request that she stop invoking the fact that I gained weight every five minutes, or ask her to hold any of her many critiques of my personality, she says I'm too sensitive and should be more open to self-improvement. If I tell her that something she does bothers me, I must have a complex. My dad and I joke all the time; my mom takes a lighthearted joke as a grave insult.

I was in Boston this past week for work (my parents were in the Catskills so I didn't see them). Knowing the city, I played tourguide for my coworker, and occasionally included personal references in my commentary:

"The red line is so named because it goes to Harvard Square, and Harvard's color is crimson. The river thins as we leave Boston and enter Watertown. This MDC (Metropolitan District Commission) skating rink is where I used to take lessons as a child; in fact, every time my mom and I drive by it, she makes a point of reminding me that I took lessons but wasn't very good, at that or anything else she tried to expose me to." To be fair, my dad does this too (though not nearly as unrelentingly), but if, say, needle him for how messy his car is, he doesn't take it as a declaration of war.