Complaint letter déjà vu

Tonight I wrote a complaint letter to Verizon on my mother's behalf. As she described the situation, I calmly asked her whether she had considered resolving this issue by phone; she got very defensive, raised her voice, and told me she didn't need any comments from me, that I should just write the letter. I asked her to lower her voice, and she said that asking me for a favor always brought too high a cost. For some reason, she has started to use this often, and I’m not sure how she would back it up if I pushed back on it.

She said that when she called, she waited on hold for forty-five minutes and that that was a key part of what she wanted me to write: that although Verizon's customer service for internet and television was exceptional, that for local phone service was horrific.

It went like this: I wrote the letter, she would look at it and disapprove, claiming that I had forgotten something. I would then point out that something to her in the letter, but she was displeased with my phrasing or something else. She would nit-pick at my wording:

Mom: You wrote that she put me on hold-- she hadn't put me on hold, I was waiting for someone to pick up, listening to their repeated message.
A.: That does not say that anyone put you on hold. It says that you were on hold for forty-five minutes...
Mom: No, I wasn't on hold... I was waiting and listening to their recorded message.
A.: That's called being on hold.

Finally, she approved the letter or at least acknowledged my limitations in conveying her thoughts, and said we could move on to the letter to 'that evil company that [I] continue to bank with.'
Mom: Do you deny that they are evil?
A.: I don’t really care whether they’re evil or not, their banking services meet my needs. [Note: I would care if they were evil in the sense of, say, nazi gold, but evil in the sense of having policies that inconvenienced my mom just doesn’t cut it].
Mom: They’re liars, they’re frauds, and you still defend them.
A.: I’m not defending them; I’m not passing judgment on their morals. I am maintaining that their banking services meet my needs.
Mom: This isn’t about me! I was lucky, I had money in a different place that I could draw from, but imagine an elderly woman, her spouse is in the hospital, she doesn’t know his account number or pin, she can’t withdraw the money she needs for his hospital bills.
A.: Right. I am not elderly, and I don’t have anyone else on the account, so that scenario does not inspire me to change bank accounts.

It’s like Bill Clinton’s continued popularity among women: I vote for a president, not a husband, and I choose my bank based on convenience and interest rates, not policies that don’t affect me.

Mom starts describing the situation.

A.: Wait, I’ve HEARD all this. I’ve already WRITTEN this letter for you.
Mom: No, you haven’t.
A.: Yes, I have… I’ll find it in my sent mail.
Mom: Oh, no, that letter was useless! That letter had nothing to do with anything.
A.: Well, then I’m not sure how useful another letter will be.

I’m not sure exactly what happened next. Her voice kept rising, I kept asking her to lower it—I was still finishing up the Verizon letter and her franticness was distracting me. She started, and kept, screaming, and then kicked me off the computer.

Mom: Get off the computer, now!
A.: Okay… can I just print directions to the wedding first?
Mom: No! I’ve been waiting for the computer all night?
A.: You have been? You didn’t say anything. Besides, I’ve been here because I’ve been writing this letter.
Mom: Oh, I see. Every time you do something for me, it’s this huge favor. Everything you do for me comes at a cost.
A.: Well, in this case, that cost is that I need the computer.
Mom, yelling: Why is this so much easier when Irina writes letters for me? Why doesn’t she act like it’s a huge favor? Everytime you need something, it has to happen right away. When I need something, it’s this big deal!

I just got up and left. As I walked to the other room, she followed me, continuing to yell.

Mom: I am just amazed at how we managed to raise such a selfish person!