Thanksgiving ramble

I talked to mom and dad this morning, and then just dad. The first conversation was not without humor.

Dad: Mom bought a couple of those things--what do you call them, those American desserts where you put fruit in it and then dough over the top?
A.: Pie?
Dad: Yes--that.

The second conversation was less amusing. Mom had stormed out after dad told her how he felt about her having chased him off of Skype--with his best friend in Russia--to go see what a beautiful day it was. This not unlike mom; when she decides you must experience something, she decides that you must drop everything to experience it, and you must experience it the same way she does. Mom was talking loudly, so dad pretty much had to get off the phone. When dad called her on what she'd done, mom started badmouthing dad's friend and saying that she knew things about him that he didn't even know (really? dad went to grade school with this guy; I've met him; mom's never had a bad thing to say about him before). But mom can't stand to be in the wrong in any way, and so to bring herself into the right, she tried to undermine the person dad was having a conversation with. As if it mattered.

Dad then told me that mom had driven off somewhere. Mom's neurologist gave her the go-ahead to drive during the day but not at night. Dad could have sworn that the doctor had uttered the world 'Alzheimer's' but I argued that he'd misheard; mom's symptoms are not those of dementia.

I feel for dad. He handles it well, but it has to be a strain on him. I'm there for him to the extent that I can be and still maintain my sanity, which, at this point in my life, means staying away from mom.

***
On the way to Thanksgiving dinner, I stopped at another friend's house to drop off some shoes. The friend had surgery, can only wear flats, needs a pair for an upcoming job interview, and can't move enough beforehand to do the requisite shopping. I popped in, said hello to her family. She showered me with thanks and compliments: my hair looked great, look at those boots, look at those jeans, I was going to pick someone up where I was going. Nope, I said: just other single women, and a couple of couples. She lamented that the hair, boots, jeans would be wasted. She also asked if I wasn't getting too thin. I shrugged, reassured her that I ate as much as I wanted and could still boast some flab. Worry about me if I lose another pound or two, and even then, what would you have me do?

***
Thanksgiving was lovely. I've been giving annual thanks with permutations of this crowd on and off for many, many years now, and it feels like family. Everything I ate--which was everything but the turkey and mashed potatoes, and even I have to admit that the turkey was picture-perfect--was amazing. The hostess set aside some vegan stuffing for me, and there were a few salads and vegetable dishes, including some fantastic olive-oil roasted brussel sprouts. The squash gratin I brought was a big hit, with several requests for the recipe.