Thursday evening roundup

Pakistan's not the only place where schools aren't safe for girls.

It's wonderful that Laura Bush opted to write an op-ed on the matter (of Malala), and the haters in the comments need to get a grip. But the op-ed itself is vapid. Could she use her power/exposure for good and actually write something with substance? If we can all do something, maybe tell us what?

Tim Gunn is back in my good graces (after the unfortunate "confused about her gender" statement) as he eschews fur.

Are you interested in saving the Gulf of Mexico? Eat plants.

Saving the planet is good for people, too.

Time presents two reasonable sides of the Big Bird debate.

It's always time for pearls.

Travel websites you'll want to check out.

***
I'd love to stop talking about body image, fat, and obesity. I've already said a lot on the topics. But I feel the need to repeat myself, even though you know where I stand.

I love--love!--the Mindy Kaling take: "I am who I am/I'm beautiful as I am." Run away from any man who asks you to lose 15 pounds. Love yourself at any weight, and rock your look up to the upper limits of "healthy." And absolutely, hats-off to the Wisconsin anchor who talked back to the man who suggested that her weight invalidated her as an anchor. But quit trying to argue that obesity is healthy and that it's beyond people's control.

We need to split this issue into two. One of the commenters at the last link tried to do that and got unliked. But I'm going to second her opinion: obesity is not healthy. And it's not inevitable. This isn't shaming. I wholeheartedly agree that shaming is bad, wrong, and counterproductive. But, listen to me: I have obese people in my life. I have a close friend who is obese, and it pains me to see her joints buckle under her weight. It pained me to see her hospitalized. And observing her and listening to her--and others--has taught me the extent to which she is choosing to remain the way she is. She is choosing to make excuses, and to make poor choices. Something about her condition is serving her.

No, I haven't done a scientific study of all obese people, but I don't buy the argument that it's genetic. If it were, why is obesity getting worse with each generation? Where were those genes in the last generation?

And I can, from personal experience (or the experience of friends), disagree with the commenter who says that if it were that simple, obese people would just eat healthily and exercise. Again, I've not done a scientific study, but the obese and overweight people I know make poor choices. It's not for me to tell them that they need to or should want to lose weight, but I hear them complain about their weight and can only shrug, because they're not doing anything about it. You can't make someone want to change or get better; they have to want that themselves. I could show my obese friend how to make simple, tasty, healthy food, but I couldn't make her want to lose weight. When she was scared--right after she was hospitalized--she lost 20 pounds. And then she went back to her old ways. Her call, but spare me the line about how it's out of her hands.

I'm not making this argument to assign blame; the issue is that, saying that "this is a genetic/natural thing, I can't do anything about it," serves as a crutch. I know people with thyroid conditions who essentially use that as an excuse to let themselves go, because they can blame it on their thyroid, and I know people with the same condition who choose to exercise and stay healthy.


I reiterate that you can and should love your body at every weight, but we have to acknowledge that obesity is not a healthy choice, and it's not an isolated choice. Did I tell you that my friend's brother-in-law, a first responder, was permanently injured when an obese woman that he and others were trying to carry out of a house, was dropped on him? Did I tell you about how I can't take my close friend to plays, even though she loves them, because it's not fair to the people who'd be sitting next to her? I'll only do it if I can get her an end seat.


Mindy Kaling and Lady Gaga are healthy and happy, and the catty douchebags should get off their backs. Morbidly obese people are not healthy, and we shouldn't conflate openly stating that fact with pressuring people to be uber-thin.